Let me begin this blog with a disclaimer: I do not have any children nor do I play a regular or daily part in raising any children. The only times I've ever claimed any sort of fatherhood over anyone are in the (increasingly rare) occasions I'm able to assert any sort of dominance over friends during an athletic endeavor and feel led to ask them "Who's your daddy?" - obviously, and most obnoxiously, inferring that the proper answer is myself. Therefore, I understand that everything I am about to write can be criticized from the perspective that I'm not a realist, that I don't understand the challenges of child rearing, or that I don't have proper understanding of how a parent would feel towards their child. I can understand all that, but I still have long desired to write about what I view as one of the gravest weaknesses in the church - our PERSPECTIVE in how we, as Christians, should raise our kids. My observations are based generally on how I was raised, and how I see many Christian friends attempting to raise their children. If you are reading this, and do not claim the Christian faith, this blog is really not meant for you... but you can read it anyway.
Mom and Dad, if you ever read this, I assure you it is not meant to be a complaint/critique on your parenting abilities or how I was raised. I truly believe you both did the best you could given your own upbringings, and the influence of our nation's "Christian" culture in which you lived. I believe God truly gave me two parents with the qualities that you have, to raise me in a way that would help form me into the person I would grow in to, in order to use me for the purposes He had intended. As I get older, I am more appreciative of who you are as my parents, and in the way you actively poured into my life growing up (and even now), especially during the times I was hard-headed, rebellious, and refused to listen. From Dad I had modeled to me an incredible work ethic and self discipline, and learned almost every practical life skill imaginable - including organizational skills, leadership, managing money, and making a point to always do what was right. From Mom I learned was it was like to nurture someone, and had modeled to me the closest example of a perfect, selfless, Christ-like love I'll probably ever see this side of eternity. Whenever I'm asked about you two as parents, I love telling people you are the greatest "set" of parents a kid could ever dream of or wish for. I thank God that, for whatever reason, He chose you two to be my earthly parents.
Sadly, somewhere along the lines of history, the American church has changed Christianity into a safe "religion" that basically tells people what not to do. In our churches and homes we've focused on the "thou shalt nots" instead of the "goes" and "dos" of what it means to live a life that honors God and promotes His kingdom. We selfishly want our kids to live safe, comfortable lives - so we coach them up on how to stay out of trouble, be financially successful, acquire possessions, and win the respect of their peers and ourselves as parents - basically encouraging them to "tip-toe through life so they can arrive safely at death". We've taught them to create their own kingdoms, if you will, by revamping the entire Christian gospel into a religion of rules which teach them to be successful within the existing parameters of the society that they live in (while behaving ok in the process), instead of encouraging them to change society. If we've learned anything, it's that a religion of rules is never sustainable - our churches in America are filled with millions of kids who know their "wrongs" from their rights, but do them all anyway. We've bored an entire generation of kids into sex, drugs, drinking, and materialism because we haven't given them any more exciting options.
**** A real quick proof to anyone raised in a Christian home: In what context were you taught the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"? I'm pretty confident it was in the context of keeping you FROM doing something. (don't hit your sister, take your little brother's toys, etc) We've re-translated this verse to "Don't do something bad you wouldn't want someone else to do to you". I find it interesting that in the parable of the rich man and Lazurus (Luke 16: 19-31) we're never given any evidence of "bad" behavior of the rich man who ended up in hell - his only "crime" was in not doing good, or simply ignoring those who needed help around him in the society that he lived in.****
Kids don't want to taught to be "good". They want to be great. They want to be heroes, warriors, and princesses - people who change the world and have books written about them. They want to be part of a cause greater than themselves - identifying with movements of like-minded people that produce epic results, changing the society that they live in. They want to be heroic and daring, they want to feel value, they want to affect the universe they live in. By re-creating Christianity into a religion of don'ts, we've (the American church) squelched this inherent desire in our kids to be great, to change society, to live their lives for an "epic" cause - and turned them away from the most dramatic battle that exists - the cause of Christ. So instead we get war protestors, Occupy protestors, anti-tuition raising protestors, G-20 protesters, animal activists, peace activists, WOOFers, and "bank transfer" days, all started by kids who desperately want to do or be part of a cause that makes them feel that they have done something good with their lives ....all wanting to "save the world" perhaps, but doing it apart from the call of Christ. We (the church) have driven kids from the true gospel and created an entire generation of secular humanists who are running around desperately trying to make a difference in their world in an attempt to help others by fighting against social injustices, speaking out against racism, providing for the hungry, and promoting unity and world peace... all, perhaps, "holding to a form of godliness but denying the power thereof."
"Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Often lost in this verse is the obvious analogy that children are arrows (read: weapons) to be used for the kingdom of Christ. As parents, they're given to you to be sharpened and shot out, not polished and put back in the quiver to make them (or yourself) look good. It is our job as parents to release them as weapons of light all over the world in a battle that is more grand, more epic, than any kid can even imagine. The parents of the generation of "kids" currently running our churches, businesses, and governments are reaping what they've sown. They've taught their kids to live safe and comfortable lives, looking out for themselves and their families, while complacently letting society go to hell around them while they've stayed out of trouble. Our goal as parents should not be to keep our kids out of trouble, but to teach them HOW to embrace it and work and walk through it. There's an old adage that says "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time."
Step aside and evaluate your own parenting: Are your kids reaching out...do they live for others? Do they befriend the lonely? Do they share what they have? Do they recognize injustice and untruths and physical needs at their schools or jobs and attempt to do something about it? Are they willing to risk the disapproval of other kids (and yours) to do what they believe is right? If we are relating to them in a way that causes them to seek their peer's approval or our own (as parents), then we are not relating to them as we should. DO speak validation into their lives, but make sure they know that you're not the end game. Your approval of them will mean very little in the context of eternity. Your job is to point them to their real Father, and to teach and model to them a life that shows them the joy, wonder, and worth of the call of Christ.
God had an earthly Son too. By our general Christian standards today, God (the Father) would have been the worst parent in the world. His son didn't go to college. He never held a high-profile job or made lots of money. He frequently attended parties and drank. He spent his adulthood as a poor, homeless wanderer. He consorted with the worst of society, even becoming close with many women of questionable repute. He was constantly in trouble with the authorities. He never tried to "fit in", but was always sought after by throngs of both friends and foes. He died the most horrible, painful, cruel death imaginable in His day. But his life was epic, not boring. He confronted those in authority, publically lambasted all society's injustices, attacked the established religion of His day, was frequently on the lam from the law, faced multiple death threats, and was constantly in the public eye. By the time He died, he had pretty much taken head-on every single establishment and ideal of His day. He died at 33, but He changed the world, by living (and dying) more "epically" than anyone who had ever walked the planet. He knew who His Daddy was.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Saturday, August 11, 2012
An Inexplicable Unseen Force: The Reality of Christ as God
"One of the greatest proofs of a supernatural reality is that we can even ponder one." -CS Lewis
I grew up in a tennis playing family. Both of my parents were decent country club players and began encouraging my brother, sister and I to play at a small age. Even as we switched schools and moved around the country, the sport remained a constant part of life during most of our childhoods. We all played in high school and at three different small colleges at the NAIA level. As a little kid and even in high school I had big dreams of being a superstar someday, playing for a NCAA school, playing on the ATP tour and even beating Boris Becker one day. However, it only took a brief foray into the world of top-level collegiate tennis to realize that this would never even be a remote possibility for me, namely due to a gross lack of talent and athleticism, amongst many other things. I don't play anymore but do look back fondly on the large part of my life it played - mainly the many friends I made through it as well as the life adventures it provided me. I got to travel around the country while playing a collegiate sport and also developed certain athletic skills that have proved useful in many other athletic endeavors. I still hack it up at family get-togethers with my folks (who have their own court and still play) about once a year, but that's about it these days. I'm pretty sure my mom beat me the last time we played.
Throughout high school I was in a week-to-week battle with one other guy for the #1 spot on the team, during the intermittent times that he was able to remain academically eligible. Admittedly, he was probably a better player than me, certainly had a much "bigger" game, and ended up doing way more with his tennis career than I ever did. But I usually could get in his head and therefore beat him almost every time I played him. So even though I was the official #1 on the De Soto High School ladder, both my coaches and I usually mutually agreed to let him play the top spot against other schools, especially if they had a top ranked-player, knowing he'd have a better chance of beating them than I would.
The other guy's name was Michael and I've lost track of him over the years and have no idea where he's at now. He indeed had a big game and often an even bigger on court John Mcenroe -esque temper. He was often prone to profanity laced outbursts directed at everyone from his opponents (including me), his doubles partners, coaches, fans, watching parents, and pretty much whoever happened to be in the vicinity at the time. Like Mcenroe himself, the level of his game usually increased with his volume, which kept watching coaches and fans from being to hard on him, until a coach challenged him that if he felt the need to include someone else's name in his outbursts, he should probably choose someone other than Jesus Christ. He took the challenge to heart, and eventually settled on Rock Hudson - I think because at the time it had just been revealed that Hudson was gay and was dying of AIDS. For Mike, it seemed like a good name to "blaspheme" at the time. Over his last two years of high school tennis, he became known throughout our entire district as the "Rock Hudson guy", because his many profanity laced outbursts became laced with "Rock Hudsons" in every vulgar way you could imagine. Even while playing on another court, I could usually tell his match success based on the number of "Rock Hudsons" flying around. It became so entertainingly silly for many, that even our greatest rivals would look forward to watching and playing against us, just for the comical value of watching the "Rock Hudson guy" alone.
All this sounds silly, right? Throwing some guy's name around in ways to express frustration and anger? The next time you feel such need, give it a good old "Confucius", or "Gandhi " or "prophet Mohammed" or even a "Buddha damnit" and see if it does anything for you. You'll probably feel silly after you've said it, and everyone around you will think it's weird or even comical. There's just something powerful that gives you that satisfying feeling of "oomph" after saying the name of Jesus Christ in anger ....or some sort of inexplicable fearfulness or embarrassment when using it in a good way, or when advertising anything in a positive way that relates to Him.
Try this experiment for yourself: Grab a big overtly - labeled Holy Bible and walk around downtown Dallas (or anywhere) and see if you don't feel overly conscious about it, especially if you bump into non-Christian friends. It's just a book, right? Turn on some praise and worship music at your next office party and see how you feel - it's just music right? It's more comfortable to hear lyrics about murder, death, sorrow, broken relationships, or about anything else other than about the person of Jesus Christ. Start casual conversations, even just in a completely historical context about the person of Jesus Christ and see if it doesn't shut everyone up or get them upset or make them uncomfortable. Try the same with Confucius, Buddha, Mohammed, Brahma, the Bab, Joseph Smith, or even Adolf Hitler and no one really cares. The truth is, there is an objective reality going on outside of ourselves that is more powerful than we are and has a greater influence on the outcome of our actions than we do. I think the thought of this for non-Christians must be scary, so absolutely terrifying, that it must be (at the least) kept at bay by trying to ignore it, or at worst, attacking against this reality that they inherently know, that they can FEEL is there and represents some sort of truth. The same gay-rights activists who angerly protest, boycott and organize "kiss-ins" at Chick-Fila restaurants because the owner says he supports "the Biblical view of marriage" will never bother to boycott or protest against Shell or Exxon gas stations whose oil is owned, drilled, and sold by Saudi Arabian Islamasists who say (and actively support) that homosexuality should be punished by death.....because the reality is that there is no real power, no unseen force behind the accusation that homosexuality is wrong from an Islamic stance, but an incredible conviction brought on by the inferred accusation that homosexual marraige would be "unbiblical."
The second we force ourselves to acknowledge all this is the second we realize we ultimately can't adequately explain our lives or have control over our own existence, acknowledging that we ultimately belong or are ultimately in submission to the whims and power and desires of something, or even Someone else. The problem for non-Christians, I believe, is not unbelief but intentional disbelief in a reality that they know... they can FEEL is true. They can't convince their own hearts of the anti-truths they want to believe, anti-truths that keep them in comfortable control of their own lives and destinies ...so they try to distract themselves with enough activities or thoughts or chemicals to remain happy enough to exist in their own self-created delusion. They reject what they know in their hearts to be true and attempt to create a new reality in which they have authority over their own existence, and attempt to live it out in a way that validates their new reality they've created. An attempt at intentional self-deceit, if you will, but the problem still remains that the alternate reality that they refuse to believe is indeed an OBJECTIVE one that is real, and is much more powerful than any existence they can attempt to create for themselves, because the truth is, the Creator and Director of the reality we cannot see is also the Creator and the Director of the one we can see. His name is Jesus Christ, and even as you read all this, I'm pretty sure you're feeling and thinking things (anger, resistance, fear, disgust, conviction... love?), beyond anything you can explain in a purely physical or natural sense, or beyond what you normally should be when reading any oped or blog or commentary, even if it was one that you disagreed with greatly. These are just words on a page, right?
I grew up in a tennis playing family. Both of my parents were decent country club players and began encouraging my brother, sister and I to play at a small age. Even as we switched schools and moved around the country, the sport remained a constant part of life during most of our childhoods. We all played in high school and at three different small colleges at the NAIA level. As a little kid and even in high school I had big dreams of being a superstar someday, playing for a NCAA school, playing on the ATP tour and even beating Boris Becker one day. However, it only took a brief foray into the world of top-level collegiate tennis to realize that this would never even be a remote possibility for me, namely due to a gross lack of talent and athleticism, amongst many other things. I don't play anymore but do look back fondly on the large part of my life it played - mainly the many friends I made through it as well as the life adventures it provided me. I got to travel around the country while playing a collegiate sport and also developed certain athletic skills that have proved useful in many other athletic endeavors. I still hack it up at family get-togethers with my folks (who have their own court and still play) about once a year, but that's about it these days. I'm pretty sure my mom beat me the last time we played.
Throughout high school I was in a week-to-week battle with one other guy for the #1 spot on the team, during the intermittent times that he was able to remain academically eligible. Admittedly, he was probably a better player than me, certainly had a much "bigger" game, and ended up doing way more with his tennis career than I ever did. But I usually could get in his head and therefore beat him almost every time I played him. So even though I was the official #1 on the De Soto High School ladder, both my coaches and I usually mutually agreed to let him play the top spot against other schools, especially if they had a top ranked-player, knowing he'd have a better chance of beating them than I would.
The other guy's name was Michael and I've lost track of him over the years and have no idea where he's at now. He indeed had a big game and often an even bigger on court John Mcenroe -esque temper. He was often prone to profanity laced outbursts directed at everyone from his opponents (including me), his doubles partners, coaches, fans, watching parents, and pretty much whoever happened to be in the vicinity at the time. Like Mcenroe himself, the level of his game usually increased with his volume, which kept watching coaches and fans from being to hard on him, until a coach challenged him that if he felt the need to include someone else's name in his outbursts, he should probably choose someone other than Jesus Christ. He took the challenge to heart, and eventually settled on Rock Hudson - I think because at the time it had just been revealed that Hudson was gay and was dying of AIDS. For Mike, it seemed like a good name to "blaspheme" at the time. Over his last two years of high school tennis, he became known throughout our entire district as the "Rock Hudson guy", because his many profanity laced outbursts became laced with "Rock Hudsons" in every vulgar way you could imagine. Even while playing on another court, I could usually tell his match success based on the number of "Rock Hudsons" flying around. It became so entertainingly silly for many, that even our greatest rivals would look forward to watching and playing against us, just for the comical value of watching the "Rock Hudson guy" alone.
All this sounds silly, right? Throwing some guy's name around in ways to express frustration and anger? The next time you feel such need, give it a good old "Confucius", or "Gandhi " or "prophet Mohammed" or even a "Buddha damnit" and see if it does anything for you. You'll probably feel silly after you've said it, and everyone around you will think it's weird or even comical. There's just something powerful that gives you that satisfying feeling of "oomph" after saying the name of Jesus Christ in anger ....or some sort of inexplicable fearfulness or embarrassment when using it in a good way, or when advertising anything in a positive way that relates to Him.
Try this experiment for yourself: Grab a big overtly - labeled Holy Bible and walk around downtown Dallas (or anywhere) and see if you don't feel overly conscious about it, especially if you bump into non-Christian friends. It's just a book, right? Turn on some praise and worship music at your next office party and see how you feel - it's just music right? It's more comfortable to hear lyrics about murder, death, sorrow, broken relationships, or about anything else other than about the person of Jesus Christ. Start casual conversations, even just in a completely historical context about the person of Jesus Christ and see if it doesn't shut everyone up or get them upset or make them uncomfortable. Try the same with Confucius, Buddha, Mohammed, Brahma, the Bab, Joseph Smith, or even Adolf Hitler and no one really cares. The truth is, there is an objective reality going on outside of ourselves that is more powerful than we are and has a greater influence on the outcome of our actions than we do. I think the thought of this for non-Christians must be scary, so absolutely terrifying, that it must be (at the least) kept at bay by trying to ignore it, or at worst, attacking against this reality that they inherently know, that they can FEEL is there and represents some sort of truth. The same gay-rights activists who angerly protest, boycott and organize "kiss-ins" at Chick-Fila restaurants because the owner says he supports "the Biblical view of marriage" will never bother to boycott or protest against Shell or Exxon gas stations whose oil is owned, drilled, and sold by Saudi Arabian Islamasists who say (and actively support) that homosexuality should be punished by death.....because the reality is that there is no real power, no unseen force behind the accusation that homosexuality is wrong from an Islamic stance, but an incredible conviction brought on by the inferred accusation that homosexual marraige would be "unbiblical."
The second we force ourselves to acknowledge all this is the second we realize we ultimately can't adequately explain our lives or have control over our own existence, acknowledging that we ultimately belong or are ultimately in submission to the whims and power and desires of something, or even Someone else. The problem for non-Christians, I believe, is not unbelief but intentional disbelief in a reality that they know... they can FEEL is true. They can't convince their own hearts of the anti-truths they want to believe, anti-truths that keep them in comfortable control of their own lives and destinies ...so they try to distract themselves with enough activities or thoughts or chemicals to remain happy enough to exist in their own self-created delusion. They reject what they know in their hearts to be true and attempt to create a new reality in which they have authority over their own existence, and attempt to live it out in a way that validates their new reality they've created. An attempt at intentional self-deceit, if you will, but the problem still remains that the alternate reality that they refuse to believe is indeed an OBJECTIVE one that is real, and is much more powerful than any existence they can attempt to create for themselves, because the truth is, the Creator and Director of the reality we cannot see is also the Creator and the Director of the one we can see. His name is Jesus Christ, and even as you read all this, I'm pretty sure you're feeling and thinking things (anger, resistance, fear, disgust, conviction... love?), beyond anything you can explain in a purely physical or natural sense, or beyond what you normally should be when reading any oped or blog or commentary, even if it was one that you disagreed with greatly. These are just words on a page, right?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Meaning of Life: Who will write my name?
Hersh, this one's for you, buddy.....
As I've mentioned in a previous blog, I own a two bedroom condo in Dallas - affectionately known as the "Holly Oaks Hostel" that I use to house various guys in different transition stages of their lives, whether it be someone going through a difficult time in their life, or just a wandering derelict needing a place to stay - like myself. Roommates have come and gone (and stayed... you know who you are), but no one embodied the description of a wandering derelict more than my friend Josh. He graduated from college several years back with a ministry degree, and after a brief stint in youth ministry and inner-city work, decided to move to Dallas and get a job parking cars to pay off some college debt, so he would feel truly free to do whatever he believed God would lead him to do. A mutual friend told him I could help get him a job parking cars; they showed up at an ultimate frisbee pick/up game I play at, and my life hasn't been the same since.
You see, when I first met Josh, he pretty much embodied the life I felt like I should be living, but never had the guts to fully embrace. He drove a beat-up Geo (owning no more than he could fit in it), ran around everywhere barefoot, hardly ever dressed up to impress, and pretty much rebelled against all forms of "Christian" orthodoxy as taught by his legalistic Church-of-Christ college. He was living a life and doing ministry radically different than the way our society and even the American church was telling us our lives should look like. He was living his life, in essence, in a way that exposed the facade, artificialness, and meaninglessness of what the average American Christian's life looked like. He had a heart for ministry and humanity and with it big dreams; he wanted to live an epic "Frodo-like" life; he wanted to re-invent or impact the world in a way that would benefit all humanity for the better, and he was fearless in trying anything. He had looked the world in the eye and, like the Joker, told it "You have nothing that I want!" He paid off all his debt and moved back to Abilene a year later to take a ministry position, and began his attempt at an epic life.
Fast forward 3 years later... the ministry position didn't work out, he moved back to Dallas, got kicked out by his roommate (who got married), and spent the next two years parking cars, living on various people's floors (including mine), pursued romance, and took various adventures around the world... basically trying to find out the next direction for his life. Everything kept seeming to end up in dead ends; he began spending evenings hanging out at the condo drinking whiskey, eating cookies, ranting about society's and humanity's failures and its blindness (political and social) with other indulging roommates, and attempting to convince himself and other condo guests that life is meaningless. Fortunately, this life state was brief - he's got his RPM certification and is moving to New Zealand (Frodo land!) in June to try to kick-start his life again. He's a much better writer than me and has written a reflective blog post called Phat Base on his blog to which I responded to. You can read it and my comments at thebarefootjungleboy.blogspot.com.
I have yet to indulge in the Holly Oaks Hostel whiskey nights, but I've enjoyed the reflectiveness of the commentary, even if it is a bit induced. I mean, isn't that what the human heart cries out for? To know our lives are relevant? To know our existence serves some purpose? If so, what then is the meaning of life? John Piper gives my favorite definition in saying "Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever!" OK, this sounds pretty, but how does that look in a pragmatic way - a way that we can live out on earth and see results that confirm to us that our lives do have meaning?
I've been attending a "mega-church" here in Dallas for about the last 6 months. I'm usually not a big fan of such - in my opinion, most are showy, extravagantly waste resources on themselves, and give a pretty watered down "feel-good" version of the gospel which threatens no one and keeps everyone coming back to fill the pews. However, for whatever my opinion's worth (obviously God's is the one that counts - it's His bride, after all), I think Watermark does ministry well. They encourage community and accountability through many small group situations and certainly don't water down the gospel. A few weeks back, they showed a film called "Who will write my name?" in which various people that came to know Christ through the witness of a friend at the church were shown in various situations holding up a big sign with that friend's name written on it and talked about how that friend had originally invited them to Watermark. As I sat there feeling judgmental about how the video seemed to be overly promoting the church, it struck me that in its effort to encourage its members to invest in the lives of others around them, the reality was it was appealing to the desire of the human heart for validation, which is ultimately filled in others telling us our lives have had meaning, that our existence has affected theirs, that our lives have had a positive effect on this planet. It made me wonder who, if anyone, would "write my name" and hold it up for others to see.
I think this is the summation of what makes life meaningful - that others speak meaning into our lives, letting us know that their existence in this world has been made better directly by ours. We long for this validation - our entire existence seems to revolve around this, so much so, that we start blogs, Facebook accounts, and twitter in order to get people to take interest in our lives in an attempt to manipulate respect out of other people for the things we've done with our life. However, even Jesus said "If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid". In essence, we can attempt to promote ourselves (we all do), but the true measure of promotion of our lives will come FROM others as they testify TO others and to the world what our lives have done for them and their world.
This practice is extremely Biblical as God often "holds up" or writes/speaks the name of those whose lives He believes have positively affected His earthly story to bring glory to His name. "Consider My servant"(Job), "My friend" (Abraham), "A man after My own heart" (David), "Behold My Son (Jesus) with whom I am well pleased", and "Of those born of women, none was greater than (John)" were just a few of the people whose lives God Himself spoke meaning into. There have been/are/will be others as well, all WRITTEN into the book of life. I'm pretty sure that having God hold, write, and exalt our name before all creation will validate and fill our lives with a sense of meaning that we currently can not comprehend. It's God's job to exalt us; it's our job to humble ourselves. If we attempt to do His job, He will probably do ours for us.
Sorry, Josh - I obviously can't come anywhere close to this in terms of "name-holding", but for you, this is the best I got. So here's to holding your name before fellow humans, letting them know that by your life, you've taught me the importance of living fearlessly on Earth in an attempt to create eternal good. I'd make you a poster as well, but I know you'd probably disapprove of the waste of resources. If I climb Mt. Sneffels again this year, I'll make it a point to eat a peanut butter sandwich on top and tag it on Facebook with your name on it. Just by being you, by living your life, you have affected my life for the better, giving me a greater desire to live a more "epic" life for the kingdom of Christ by encouraging me to fearlessly "jump in" to different life opportunities. Hopefully, I'll see you in New Zealand.
As I've mentioned in a previous blog, I own a two bedroom condo in Dallas - affectionately known as the "Holly Oaks Hostel" that I use to house various guys in different transition stages of their lives, whether it be someone going through a difficult time in their life, or just a wandering derelict needing a place to stay - like myself. Roommates have come and gone (and stayed... you know who you are), but no one embodied the description of a wandering derelict more than my friend Josh. He graduated from college several years back with a ministry degree, and after a brief stint in youth ministry and inner-city work, decided to move to Dallas and get a job parking cars to pay off some college debt, so he would feel truly free to do whatever he believed God would lead him to do. A mutual friend told him I could help get him a job parking cars; they showed up at an ultimate frisbee pick/up game I play at, and my life hasn't been the same since.
You see, when I first met Josh, he pretty much embodied the life I felt like I should be living, but never had the guts to fully embrace. He drove a beat-up Geo (owning no more than he could fit in it), ran around everywhere barefoot, hardly ever dressed up to impress, and pretty much rebelled against all forms of "Christian" orthodoxy as taught by his legalistic Church-of-Christ college. He was living a life and doing ministry radically different than the way our society and even the American church was telling us our lives should look like. He was living his life, in essence, in a way that exposed the facade, artificialness, and meaninglessness of what the average American Christian's life looked like. He had a heart for ministry and humanity and with it big dreams; he wanted to live an epic "Frodo-like" life; he wanted to re-invent or impact the world in a way that would benefit all humanity for the better, and he was fearless in trying anything. He had looked the world in the eye and, like the Joker, told it "You have nothing that I want!" He paid off all his debt and moved back to Abilene a year later to take a ministry position, and began his attempt at an epic life.
Fast forward 3 years later... the ministry position didn't work out, he moved back to Dallas, got kicked out by his roommate (who got married), and spent the next two years parking cars, living on various people's floors (including mine), pursued romance, and took various adventures around the world... basically trying to find out the next direction for his life. Everything kept seeming to end up in dead ends; he began spending evenings hanging out at the condo drinking whiskey, eating cookies, ranting about society's and humanity's failures and its blindness (political and social) with other indulging roommates, and attempting to convince himself and other condo guests that life is meaningless. Fortunately, this life state was brief - he's got his RPM certification and is moving to New Zealand (Frodo land!) in June to try to kick-start his life again. He's a much better writer than me and has written a reflective blog post called Phat Base on his blog to which I responded to. You can read it and my comments at thebarefootjungleboy.blogspot.com.
I have yet to indulge in the Holly Oaks Hostel whiskey nights, but I've enjoyed the reflectiveness of the commentary, even if it is a bit induced. I mean, isn't that what the human heart cries out for? To know our lives are relevant? To know our existence serves some purpose? If so, what then is the meaning of life? John Piper gives my favorite definition in saying "Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever!" OK, this sounds pretty, but how does that look in a pragmatic way - a way that we can live out on earth and see results that confirm to us that our lives do have meaning?
I've been attending a "mega-church" here in Dallas for about the last 6 months. I'm usually not a big fan of such - in my opinion, most are showy, extravagantly waste resources on themselves, and give a pretty watered down "feel-good" version of the gospel which threatens no one and keeps everyone coming back to fill the pews. However, for whatever my opinion's worth (obviously God's is the one that counts - it's His bride, after all), I think Watermark does ministry well. They encourage community and accountability through many small group situations and certainly don't water down the gospel. A few weeks back, they showed a film called "Who will write my name?" in which various people that came to know Christ through the witness of a friend at the church were shown in various situations holding up a big sign with that friend's name written on it and talked about how that friend had originally invited them to Watermark. As I sat there feeling judgmental about how the video seemed to be overly promoting the church, it struck me that in its effort to encourage its members to invest in the lives of others around them, the reality was it was appealing to the desire of the human heart for validation, which is ultimately filled in others telling us our lives have had meaning, that our existence has affected theirs, that our lives have had a positive effect on this planet. It made me wonder who, if anyone, would "write my name" and hold it up for others to see.
I think this is the summation of what makes life meaningful - that others speak meaning into our lives, letting us know that their existence in this world has been made better directly by ours. We long for this validation - our entire existence seems to revolve around this, so much so, that we start blogs, Facebook accounts, and twitter in order to get people to take interest in our lives in an attempt to manipulate respect out of other people for the things we've done with our life. However, even Jesus said "If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid". In essence, we can attempt to promote ourselves (we all do), but the true measure of promotion of our lives will come FROM others as they testify TO others and to the world what our lives have done for them and their world.
This practice is extremely Biblical as God often "holds up" or writes/speaks the name of those whose lives He believes have positively affected His earthly story to bring glory to His name. "Consider My servant"(Job), "My friend" (Abraham), "A man after My own heart" (David), "Behold My Son (Jesus) with whom I am well pleased", and "Of those born of women, none was greater than (John)" were just a few of the people whose lives God Himself spoke meaning into. There have been/are/will be others as well, all WRITTEN into the book of life. I'm pretty sure that having God hold, write, and exalt our name before all creation will validate and fill our lives with a sense of meaning that we currently can not comprehend. It's God's job to exalt us; it's our job to humble ourselves. If we attempt to do His job, He will probably do ours for us.
Sorry, Josh - I obviously can't come anywhere close to this in terms of "name-holding", but for you, this is the best I got. So here's to holding your name before fellow humans, letting them know that by your life, you've taught me the importance of living fearlessly on Earth in an attempt to create eternal good. I'd make you a poster as well, but I know you'd probably disapprove of the waste of resources. If I climb Mt. Sneffels again this year, I'll make it a point to eat a peanut butter sandwich on top and tag it on Facebook with your name on it. Just by being you, by living your life, you have affected my life for the better, giving me a greater desire to live a more "epic" life for the kingdom of Christ by encouraging me to fearlessly "jump in" to different life opportunities. Hopefully, I'll see you in New Zealand.
God: The Original Facebook Account
Mark Zuckerberg is now worth billions for "inventing" the social network Facebook. But long before Mark, or even the brothers that claimed he stole the idea from them, or his ex-coworker that claims the idea was his, or even Myspace, God had started Facebook.
I mean, really... what is the point, what is the big attraction of Facebook? Is it not to basically write a resume of our life, to show ourselves off to anyone who might take interest in our lives? To sell ourselves to others? To try to convince others (and perhaps ourselves) that our lives do have some value or something worthy of the respect of others? I think that's why it's so popular - in essence, we can be whoever we want to whomever we want. We post our best pictures, write our most creative thoughts... pretty much publishing things that keep us looking good in the eyes of our Facebook friends - many times people we haven't even met. I don't think you'll find too many Facebook accounts where people will make themselves vulnerable - you know, posting their struggles, confessing their doubts and fears, and talking about their failed relationships. If everyone's real life lined up with their Facebook lives, this world would be a much better place, and nobody would be suffering from boredom because we would certainly be living much fuller and more fulfilling lives than a bunch of people who sit around typing into their laptops everyday (I'm removing the plank right now).
The truth is, in our American society and society in general, our relationships have gotten so superficial, so self-centered that we have trouble sustaining them, because they've all been initiated and maintained on some false image we've attempted to create for ourselves due to our desire to validate ourselves through our relationships. The problem is the closer we become to these "friends", the harder it is to keep up the charade of the amazing person we've tried to convince them that we are. I think that's why so many relationships fail - we work so hard at maintaining the image we've created for our self, and when people get close enough to us to realize the falseness of it, they often feel betrayed in the friendship and disassociate with us. So we love things like Facebook, blogs, and twitter - we can reveal to our "friends" only what we want them to know, show them only the best of who we are or how we look, make our lives look fulfilling and interesting, and edit all our communications so that we say exactly what we want without stumbling over words. This eliminates the threat of having to deal with people face to face, where they might be able to see all our weaknesses, vulnerabilities, fears, emotional garbage or anything else that might make us appear less than a perfect person to them. We enjoy this security buffer since we fear people might not like the real "us", since we all, deep down inside, know that there's something currently wrong, something not quite right with ourselves in our current sinful state, separated from God.
You see, God really did start Facebook. Since the beginning of time, He's had an account, which He updates regularly. He lets you know who He is. He let's you know His likes and dislikes, and His interests as well. He gives status updates regularly, for anyone that's paying attention. He publishes pictures of things He's created, things He thinks are beautiful, things He thinks are good to eat. He sends out constant friend requests, some of which are accepted, some of which are ignored, and many of which are denied. Does He "unfriend"? Well... I might blog my thoughts on that in the future, but for now, I'll leave that for all the biblical expositionists and theologians to debate, who are much smarter than me. He usually lets you know who his friends are, and suggests that you should friend them too. His profile lets you know He's interested in all men and women, and desires a friendship and a relationship with everyone. He "likes" (and also dislikes) constantly on His friends accounts, to show he cares about their well-being. He "pokes" people and sends them messages to get their attention when He feels they need to wake up and live a better life, or jump into something He's involved in so they can have a greater story to tell. He let's you know where He's been at work and is currently working, so you can join Him there. He blogs (Bible) and tweets as well, so you can know His thoughts and what He's up to on a daily basis. Have you signed up as a follower?
Entertain me a moment, and let's visit God's profile page, starting from the top: He has worked and works.... constantly, in an infinite amount of places. He's studied.... nowhere, because He already knows everything. He lives...eternally. He's from... the beginning. He's never been born ... and will never die. He knows every language ever spoken... but His favorite one is love. He has no need to edit His profile ...because He never changes. As far as arts and entertainment, he likes any music, books, movie, shows, or games that honor His name, draw people closer to Himself, and cause them to love others more. His activities and interests include creating things out of nothing, and then pouring out His love and showing His glory to the things He's created. His basic info just says "I AM". His contact info reads "through my Son, Jesus Christ". His side columns are seemingly endless, listing all His friends, easily identified by their love for one another and by lives that bear fruit for His kingdom. Are you easily recognized, or do people have to run an extensive search to see if you're on His list of friends? How often do you visit His profile page to see what He's been up to? How often do the two of you chat? I would suggest you "friend" Him right now if you haven't already. You might as well, because He ALWAYS has access to your account, even if you've tried to "block" Him before. He is quite capable of hiding His status from you, but if you send Him a sincere request, I'm pretty sure you'll get a response. He's always on-line.
I mean, really... what is the point, what is the big attraction of Facebook? Is it not to basically write a resume of our life, to show ourselves off to anyone who might take interest in our lives? To sell ourselves to others? To try to convince others (and perhaps ourselves) that our lives do have some value or something worthy of the respect of others? I think that's why it's so popular - in essence, we can be whoever we want to whomever we want. We post our best pictures, write our most creative thoughts... pretty much publishing things that keep us looking good in the eyes of our Facebook friends - many times people we haven't even met. I don't think you'll find too many Facebook accounts where people will make themselves vulnerable - you know, posting their struggles, confessing their doubts and fears, and talking about their failed relationships. If everyone's real life lined up with their Facebook lives, this world would be a much better place, and nobody would be suffering from boredom because we would certainly be living much fuller and more fulfilling lives than a bunch of people who sit around typing into their laptops everyday (I'm removing the plank right now).
The truth is, in our American society and society in general, our relationships have gotten so superficial, so self-centered that we have trouble sustaining them, because they've all been initiated and maintained on some false image we've attempted to create for ourselves due to our desire to validate ourselves through our relationships. The problem is the closer we become to these "friends", the harder it is to keep up the charade of the amazing person we've tried to convince them that we are. I think that's why so many relationships fail - we work so hard at maintaining the image we've created for our self, and when people get close enough to us to realize the falseness of it, they often feel betrayed in the friendship and disassociate with us. So we love things like Facebook, blogs, and twitter - we can reveal to our "friends" only what we want them to know, show them only the best of who we are or how we look, make our lives look fulfilling and interesting, and edit all our communications so that we say exactly what we want without stumbling over words. This eliminates the threat of having to deal with people face to face, where they might be able to see all our weaknesses, vulnerabilities, fears, emotional garbage or anything else that might make us appear less than a perfect person to them. We enjoy this security buffer since we fear people might not like the real "us", since we all, deep down inside, know that there's something currently wrong, something not quite right with ourselves in our current sinful state, separated from God.
You see, God really did start Facebook. Since the beginning of time, He's had an account, which He updates regularly. He lets you know who He is. He let's you know His likes and dislikes, and His interests as well. He gives status updates regularly, for anyone that's paying attention. He publishes pictures of things He's created, things He thinks are beautiful, things He thinks are good to eat. He sends out constant friend requests, some of which are accepted, some of which are ignored, and many of which are denied. Does He "unfriend"? Well... I might blog my thoughts on that in the future, but for now, I'll leave that for all the biblical expositionists and theologians to debate, who are much smarter than me. He usually lets you know who his friends are, and suggests that you should friend them too. His profile lets you know He's interested in all men and women, and desires a friendship and a relationship with everyone. He "likes" (and also dislikes) constantly on His friends accounts, to show he cares about their well-being. He "pokes" people and sends them messages to get their attention when He feels they need to wake up and live a better life, or jump into something He's involved in so they can have a greater story to tell. He let's you know where He's been at work and is currently working, so you can join Him there. He blogs (Bible) and tweets as well, so you can know His thoughts and what He's up to on a daily basis. Have you signed up as a follower?
Entertain me a moment, and let's visit God's profile page, starting from the top: He has worked and works.... constantly, in an infinite amount of places. He's studied.... nowhere, because He already knows everything. He lives...eternally. He's from... the beginning. He's never been born ... and will never die. He knows every language ever spoken... but His favorite one is love. He has no need to edit His profile ...because He never changes. As far as arts and entertainment, he likes any music, books, movie, shows, or games that honor His name, draw people closer to Himself, and cause them to love others more. His activities and interests include creating things out of nothing, and then pouring out His love and showing His glory to the things He's created. His basic info just says "I AM". His contact info reads "through my Son, Jesus Christ". His side columns are seemingly endless, listing all His friends, easily identified by their love for one another and by lives that bear fruit for His kingdom. Are you easily recognized, or do people have to run an extensive search to see if you're on His list of friends? How often do you visit His profile page to see what He's been up to? How often do the two of you chat? I would suggest you "friend" Him right now if you haven't already. You might as well, because He ALWAYS has access to your account, even if you've tried to "block" Him before. He is quite capable of hiding His status from you, but if you send Him a sincere request, I'm pretty sure you'll get a response. He's always on-line.
American Democracy: Creating Fat Christians
"Everyone's a Christian, but nobody knows what it means to be one.... the world has been made Christian at the cost of secularizing the Christian religion as never before" -Dietiech Bonhoeffer
"The early church used to be small, with a huge influence... turning the world upside down. Now it is huge with almost no influence on our society at all." -American Pastor
"I'm phat, and I'm gettin' phatter!" - Gilbert Brown, Reebok Commercial.
In December 2010, I let my job know I was taking most of 2011 off to do some writing - mainly to try to organize some thoughts on paper I believe God has been putting in my head over the last several years. I knew I would probably have trouble holding myself to this (I've quite enjoyed my busy, but admittedly "easy" life over the past few years of parking cars, shooting hoops, playing ultimate, and traveling the world with various friends) so I intentionally began telling friends and family I was taking the year off to do some reflective writing, to try to hold myself accountable to do so. I figured if enough people kept asking me about what I was writing and wanted to read it, I'd eventually have to come up with something to keep myself from looking lazy.
After only 4 months, I'm truly convinced that anyone who says they're a writer or wants to write IS inherently lazy. We really don't do a whole lot. I sleep in as long as I want, have no appointments other than the occasional basketball or frisbee game; I've even parked cars (valet) a few times just to hang out with my co-workers. On most days if nothing comes to me I just shut down the laptop and go to the gym or hang out with my roommates for the rest of the day. It's interesting that you hardly ever find a career writer. Most prolific authors today originally started out in a demanding field (law, business, politics), then after burnout decided they wanted to become a writer... so that they don't HAVE to do anything. They really just want to sit around in their pajamas all day, surf the internet, and maybe entertain the occasional speaking engagement or book signing if they get famous. If you get one good book publication, you're probably set for life - it will continue to provide residual income and everyone will buy everything you write in the future, even if you're churning out pure garbage. I wrote many lengthy research papers in school with only 2 pages worth of relevant info, and teachers still "bought it" because I was known as an A student. The problem with becoming a writer is that once you've embraced the lifestyle, it's hard to change back and do anything remotely productive because you've gotten used to having no real demands on your life. It's an easy life, but because you're really not doing anything you start getting fat, and unless some life situation shocks you from your revelry, you just get fatter.
Enter the American church. We're the most spiritually (and physically) fed group of Christians that have ever walked the planet. We have all kinds of Christian books, radio programs, seminaries, talk shows, seminars, conferences - you name it. We got a little bit of everything on the buffet. Spiritual food IS inherently good - Hebrews talks of newborn Christians needing "milk", and the apostle Paul chides certain churches for not maturing from milk to meat. We (the American church) have plenty of both with a plethora of junk food as well. This is all fine and dandy (not the junk), but the problem is that it all makes you fat if you're not getting any exercise. Enter our American political system, the greatest enabler of Christian obesity that has ever existed.
Strictly politically speaking, I have a very Ron Paul-esque Libertarian mindset with a penchant for Adam Smith economics. I think big government is bad on all levels. However, as our government has continued to grow, the greatest harm is not what it's doing to our political or economic system, but what it is has done to the American church. Big government in a democratically elected society makes us lazy because it gives us easy, non-relational ways to do church work. It's much easier to "pencil-in" a ballot box vote for certain candidates running on a pro-life, anti-gay marraige platform than to approach the single un-wed teenage mother, start an orphanage and adoption service, or invest in the lives of homosexual neighbors by befriending them and fearlessly doing our best to present Christ to them and lead them out of a destructive lifestyle. We get used to having federal agencies like FEMA and the National Guard to respond to emergencies of our fellow citizens (here and abroad), and love to criticize them when we think they haven't responded adequately or in a timely manner. Why does this surprise us? Historically, government has always done a remarkably poor job of doing work that God desires His church to do, and likewise, His church has historically become extremely corrupt, ineffective, and lazy when given too much political power or influence. That to me, is the biggest problem with American politics and our "big" democracy in general - it allows us (the church) an avenue, or medium if you will, to engage our culture by "forcing" our beliefs onto them, instead of attempting to use the power of the gospel to change their lives. In the early days of the church, killing babies (child sacrifice), homosexuality, homelessness, poverty, and hunger were just as (or even more) prevalent in the world as they are in our society now, but you never saw the apostles or church leaders running to their secular governments for help, or attempting to use them as an avenue to change society. The apostles weren't interested in creating God's kingdom on earth through legal or military force, they intended to do it by directly engaging their culture with the intent to change the hearts and souls of men.... the only way that produces lasting results.
Throughout history, in any society, as the church has gained political power or influence, the temptation has ALWAYS been to try to change society through that "power" (top-down approach) instead of through relationships with people (bottom-up approach) as Christ exemplified. It's amazing to me to see how many "conservatives" argue against big government, but continue to try to use that very avenue to accomplish the things that they claim are closest to their hearts. Church work is always much more cost-effective, personally rewarding, and spiritually gratifying when done hands-on. It would take only a few rich Dallas folks selling off their Bentleys to start an orphanage, provide free sonograms and birthing services, and offer free adoption services for anyone wanting to adopt a child in Dallas, perhaps saving thousands of lives... but instead, they would seem to rather spend millions of dollars to elect politicians, lobby for pro-life judges, and combat gay activists in the public sphere, without changing or saving any lives. It appears our concerns are more for creating our own little heavens on earth instead of attempting to rescue others from an eternal hell.
Try this experiment for yourself: Begin asking random people where we went wrong as a nation/culture or who is to be blamed for our society's glaring problems. You'll typically get responses ranging from government policies, to certain political leaders, to homosexuals pushing gay rights agendas, to big bankers, to "greedy" wall street executives and CEOs, and even "lazy welfare" people. I'm sure all these groups have a reason to be blamed, but it's interesting that, if you study the Bible, it's rare that God ever directs criticism for a society's failures on any secular institutions or unchurched people. Instead, God directs almost all of His criticism and blame at religious leaders (teachers, priests, prophets), the church itself (us), and parents. If you ask the above question, even in a church setting, you'll rarely hear anyone blaming these last few because, in essence, they would be probably be condemning themselves.
I've been in many churches that encourage members "to get out and vote" but few that focus on training people how to confront such issues in our society such as unwanted pregnancies, homosexual lifestyles, cycles of homelessness, or genuine poverty and hunger. Our bloated democracy gives us the idea that we can better our society by putting people in the right positions of power; as their reach is expanded it only feeds the idea that we should try change society through our government. We're fat, and we're gettin' fatter. (Vote Ron Paul in 2012)
"The early church used to be small, with a huge influence... turning the world upside down. Now it is huge with almost no influence on our society at all." -American Pastor
"I'm phat, and I'm gettin' phatter!" - Gilbert Brown, Reebok Commercial.
In December 2010, I let my job know I was taking most of 2011 off to do some writing - mainly to try to organize some thoughts on paper I believe God has been putting in my head over the last several years. I knew I would probably have trouble holding myself to this (I've quite enjoyed my busy, but admittedly "easy" life over the past few years of parking cars, shooting hoops, playing ultimate, and traveling the world with various friends) so I intentionally began telling friends and family I was taking the year off to do some reflective writing, to try to hold myself accountable to do so. I figured if enough people kept asking me about what I was writing and wanted to read it, I'd eventually have to come up with something to keep myself from looking lazy.
After only 4 months, I'm truly convinced that anyone who says they're a writer or wants to write IS inherently lazy. We really don't do a whole lot. I sleep in as long as I want, have no appointments other than the occasional basketball or frisbee game; I've even parked cars (valet) a few times just to hang out with my co-workers. On most days if nothing comes to me I just shut down the laptop and go to the gym or hang out with my roommates for the rest of the day. It's interesting that you hardly ever find a career writer. Most prolific authors today originally started out in a demanding field (law, business, politics), then after burnout decided they wanted to become a writer... so that they don't HAVE to do anything. They really just want to sit around in their pajamas all day, surf the internet, and maybe entertain the occasional speaking engagement or book signing if they get famous. If you get one good book publication, you're probably set for life - it will continue to provide residual income and everyone will buy everything you write in the future, even if you're churning out pure garbage. I wrote many lengthy research papers in school with only 2 pages worth of relevant info, and teachers still "bought it" because I was known as an A student. The problem with becoming a writer is that once you've embraced the lifestyle, it's hard to change back and do anything remotely productive because you've gotten used to having no real demands on your life. It's an easy life, but because you're really not doing anything you start getting fat, and unless some life situation shocks you from your revelry, you just get fatter.
Enter the American church. We're the most spiritually (and physically) fed group of Christians that have ever walked the planet. We have all kinds of Christian books, radio programs, seminaries, talk shows, seminars, conferences - you name it. We got a little bit of everything on the buffet. Spiritual food IS inherently good - Hebrews talks of newborn Christians needing "milk", and the apostle Paul chides certain churches for not maturing from milk to meat. We (the American church) have plenty of both with a plethora of junk food as well. This is all fine and dandy (not the junk), but the problem is that it all makes you fat if you're not getting any exercise. Enter our American political system, the greatest enabler of Christian obesity that has ever existed.
Strictly politically speaking, I have a very Ron Paul-esque Libertarian mindset with a penchant for Adam Smith economics. I think big government is bad on all levels. However, as our government has continued to grow, the greatest harm is not what it's doing to our political or economic system, but what it is has done to the American church. Big government in a democratically elected society makes us lazy because it gives us easy, non-relational ways to do church work. It's much easier to "pencil-in" a ballot box vote for certain candidates running on a pro-life, anti-gay marraige platform than to approach the single un-wed teenage mother, start an orphanage and adoption service, or invest in the lives of homosexual neighbors by befriending them and fearlessly doing our best to present Christ to them and lead them out of a destructive lifestyle. We get used to having federal agencies like FEMA and the National Guard to respond to emergencies of our fellow citizens (here and abroad), and love to criticize them when we think they haven't responded adequately or in a timely manner. Why does this surprise us? Historically, government has always done a remarkably poor job of doing work that God desires His church to do, and likewise, His church has historically become extremely corrupt, ineffective, and lazy when given too much political power or influence. That to me, is the biggest problem with American politics and our "big" democracy in general - it allows us (the church) an avenue, or medium if you will, to engage our culture by "forcing" our beliefs onto them, instead of attempting to use the power of the gospel to change their lives. In the early days of the church, killing babies (child sacrifice), homosexuality, homelessness, poverty, and hunger were just as (or even more) prevalent in the world as they are in our society now, but you never saw the apostles or church leaders running to their secular governments for help, or attempting to use them as an avenue to change society. The apostles weren't interested in creating God's kingdom on earth through legal or military force, they intended to do it by directly engaging their culture with the intent to change the hearts and souls of men.... the only way that produces lasting results.
Throughout history, in any society, as the church has gained political power or influence, the temptation has ALWAYS been to try to change society through that "power" (top-down approach) instead of through relationships with people (bottom-up approach) as Christ exemplified. It's amazing to me to see how many "conservatives" argue against big government, but continue to try to use that very avenue to accomplish the things that they claim are closest to their hearts. Church work is always much more cost-effective, personally rewarding, and spiritually gratifying when done hands-on. It would take only a few rich Dallas folks selling off their Bentleys to start an orphanage, provide free sonograms and birthing services, and offer free adoption services for anyone wanting to adopt a child in Dallas, perhaps saving thousands of lives... but instead, they would seem to rather spend millions of dollars to elect politicians, lobby for pro-life judges, and combat gay activists in the public sphere, without changing or saving any lives. It appears our concerns are more for creating our own little heavens on earth instead of attempting to rescue others from an eternal hell.
Try this experiment for yourself: Begin asking random people where we went wrong as a nation/culture or who is to be blamed for our society's glaring problems. You'll typically get responses ranging from government policies, to certain political leaders, to homosexuals pushing gay rights agendas, to big bankers, to "greedy" wall street executives and CEOs, and even "lazy welfare" people. I'm sure all these groups have a reason to be blamed, but it's interesting that, if you study the Bible, it's rare that God ever directs criticism for a society's failures on any secular institutions or unchurched people. Instead, God directs almost all of His criticism and blame at religious leaders (teachers, priests, prophets), the church itself (us), and parents. If you ask the above question, even in a church setting, you'll rarely hear anyone blaming these last few because, in essence, they would be probably be condemning themselves.
I've been in many churches that encourage members "to get out and vote" but few that focus on training people how to confront such issues in our society such as unwanted pregnancies, homosexual lifestyles, cycles of homelessness, or genuine poverty and hunger. Our bloated democracy gives us the idea that we can better our society by putting people in the right positions of power; as their reach is expanded it only feeds the idea that we should try change society through our government. We're fat, and we're gettin' fatter. (Vote Ron Paul in 2012)
Marraige vs. Singleness: Losing our identity in someone else
It is April of 2011. As I stated in a previous post, I'm trying to take most of the year off my valet job to hash out and put on paper some things that God has laid on my heart, things that have been floating around in my head (it's pretty roomy in there) for the past several years. I get distracted easily from things I believe God has led me to do, so I figured stepping back from my daily life might help a bit. Things went pretty well for a while, but by mid-march I'd hit a wall and got bored. I had some Delta miles I needed to use, so I booked a three week trip to Hawaii to do some hiking and camping, hoping that taking myself even further out of my Dallas routine would help kick-start my thoughts. The plan is to spend a week on Maui and finish the trip hiking the Napali Coastal Trail on the island of Kauai with some buddies.
The tropical scenery is beautiful here - there's endless secluded beaches, gorgeous sunsets, huge volcanic mountains, picturesque waterfalls with natural pools to swim in, and all kinds of crazy plants and animals, both below and above the water. You can't help but worship God in the beauty of this part of His creation. It's no wonder so many honeymooning couples and families come here for an exotic getaway. People here seemed lost in the beauty, lost in the revelry of the moment, the food, the exotic feeling of being here with family and friends... all lost in the company of someone else. I've traveled all over the world, but Hawaii - more than any place I've been - seems to be all about enjoying the company of someone else. There are very few solo travelers here.
I turned 38 years old last month. Throughout most of my life, I've avoided most serious relationships with the female species, so much so, that when I got engaged a few years back, most of my friends and family had a hard time believing the news, whether the information came through a third party or even myself. "Yeah right...whatever", "Zack engaged? No way!", and "Did hell freeze over?" were commonly heard comments. I thought it was quite amusing at the time - even comical - that I had spent most of my younger life embracing the single lifestyle so strongly that it almost felt like I was letting people down or ruining an image that I had built up for myself over the years. To this day, I'm 100% grateful that I had this "engagement experience"; I'm also 100% grateful that we broke it off.
Most modern-day weddings disgust me. Don't get me wrong here. I truly respect the institution of marriage and believe it should be held in honor by all. I believe it is an institution that has been designed and created by God Himself, as a sanctifying agent, to give us a visual aid of what our relationship with Him is like. A team of two, united for one purpose, will always be stronger and more effective than one. God uses others to refine us; in a marriage, I believe this process is amplified, we are constantly "in the fire" if you will. Marriage is indeed a beautiful thing. I just think we have been sold a watered down ideal of it in "Christian" America that looks no different than what the rest of the world believes about it; perhaps even corrupting it a bit further because of our wealth and pride. Think about it: We spend thousands of dollars buying pieces of absolutely worthless rock, usually mined with the backs and blood of children because we've bought into the lie that "diamonds are forever" and are therefore a symbol of marriage. Are we that easily sold a cultural lie? We put on lavish ceremonies to display ourselves and throw parties that usually include drunken debauchery where the entire point seems to be to glorify ourselves with pictures, dress, dances .... all in the name of doing something ...Christian? Weddings in America, I fear, have gone the way of Christmas - we have commercialized and degraded the experience to the point we no longer understand what it really means. We've given it a part of life status equivalent to going to college, getting a job, a home - the "supposed to do" stuff if you want to be labeled a successful member of society.
The beauty of this whole process was to flesh out what marriage would do for me, in the context of living a life wholeheartedly for the sake of God's kingdom. In my early young adult days, I would usually immediately reject any set-up attempts by well-meaning Christian friends by adamantly defending my single lifestyle. I would brag about the freedom of my current state; in Christian circles I would flaunt that I had nothing preventing me financially, emotionally, physically, or socially (ok, some would argue this) from doing whatever God wanted me to do in life... with my life. I was, in essence, off the grid. Society had no pull on me or had anything I needed. I continued this line of reasoning until Someone pointed out to me that if I truly was living my life in such a state, I ought to ponder my level of accountability before a most holy God. Shortly thereafter, a good friend's wife (who I'd just met for the first time and tried to set me up with her sister) adamantly made the point that if I truly felt it was God's calling for me to stay single and serve Him, I should note that others who were confirmed in such a calling (John the Baptist, Paul, Francis of Assisi, David Livingston, Luther's early years, Mother Theresa, Rich Mullins) all lived lives that were so incredibly radically oriented to the cause of Christ's kingdom that a married/family life simply wouldn't have made much sense in light of spousely/parental duties in terms of family nurturing and child rearing. Needless to say, I was immediately humbled, extremely terrified, and suddenly wanted to get married.
So the question begs... what is right/best for me? What would being married do for me? Are there advantages in being married? Staying single? Can I ponder this honestly? I will try to throw all selfish desires aside as I think about this. Singleness, for me, creates an overwhelming sense of self awareness and therefore pride. I'm more conscious of how I look, how I act, and in general, what others in society perceive of me. Walk into a party, or church, or any social setting alone and you will usually find yourself much more conscious of self or how you're perceived than if you walk in with someone else. I think, perhaps, that this is accentuated by the cultural pressure to be "in a relationship." When you're not, and you're 38, you feel the need to convince those around you that there's nothing wrong with you that is preventing this. People start wondering what's wrong with you or what's happened in your past or what kind of "issues" you have that are preventing you from being in a relationship. In the brief period in which I was engaged, especially when she was around me, I never really felt this. In essence, my identity was lost in or part of someone else's and this made me OK. You get this feeling of validation before your fellow man that says "See, look - I'm worthy of someone's affection". Society is obsessed with this - we use phrases like "married up" or "married down", thus assigning a recognized feeling of worth, within invisible layers determined by one's own society. Christ definitely married down, when He took on us (His church) as His bride.
I think God's desire is that our relationship with Him is like this - our identity should be so lost in Him in His presence, in living our lives before an Audience of One, that we would always feel we are quite complete before a watching world, never needing their approval to validate ourselves. Our existence should be so wrapped up in our identity in loving and serving Him, that we would never need anyone's approval to make ourselves feel we are all right, thus losing our sense of self-awareness that leads to pride. One of my favorite passages in the entire Bible is Mark 12:13-17, where Jesus's enemies try to get Him in trouble with the Romans (and Jews) by questioning Him about who taxes should be paid to. They (His ENEMIES) intro their question with "Teacher, we know you are true, for you do not value the opinions of men". Let's think about this in two ways: #1)Jesus (being God) must have thought the idea of seeking their approval seemed silly, since after all, He had created them. #2)Jesus (being human) knew that what He was speaking and what He was representing to a watching world was 100% truth, therefore He felt no fear in living his life before men or valuing their approval at all, because He knew He WAS TRUTH. So anytime we stand before men, or a spouse, or any audience and are continually obsessed with selling our self, we will always be overly self-conscience or fearful with what others think or how they perceive us, because we know our identity is that of a fallen creature with faults, that is not perfect, and does not represent perfect truth....unless we are able to totally lose our identity in that of Another, who has no faults or limitations or weaknesses and represents complete truth. The beauty of the Christian's testimony is we should be the first to confess our faults and weaknesses; this breaks down our own barriers and others' that we interact with, because by admitting faults and weaknesses, we are attempting to present our true self. If our relationship with God is not to this point, we probably have no business getting married; it would be quite unfair to someone else to base our identity in them, and then try to sell that identity, packaged with our own, as something completely perfect or to be respected by a watching world.
The problem with marriage for me is it seems, from observing society, that it creates unhealthy fears. Fear is an extremely manipulative emotion that drives us to live boring lives; our greatest fears are relational. We get married with big dreams, then usually fall prey to our culture of comfort and security, trying our best to not do anything that would "rock the boat" in our fragile human relationships. I think we tend to do human relationships so poorly that even in a "Christian" marriage there is an overwhelming desire to maintain peace at all costs, so we try to set ourselves up with a house, good jobs, and other things that make our lives easy and comfortable. Admittedly, in my brief period of being engaged, I thought about such things constantly (health insurance, place to live, good job) to the point where I know I would have joined the fearful ranks of the American Christians who strive to live their daily lives with as much safety and security as possible. This cultural ideal for a good marriage, in my opinion, has put the church in slumber. No longer does being a Christ-follower mean living a radical, if not epic life. It seems we have fallen prey to the idea that a good Christian home is one that fits respectfully and stably within the society surrounding it - which is tempting in that it is easy and gains the respect of peers, but to me would eventually become incredibly boring. For me to have a successful marriage I would, in essence, need someone who doesn't need me, whose life is already so complete that the only reason she'd want to marry me would be in obedience to something God wanted her to do with her life; to partner with someone to continue to live an epic adventure of following and serving Christ fearlessly, regardless of the cost to her comfort and security. Having someone whom I love deeply who would put our relationship (as a unit) fearlessly before God and constantly remind me of who I am in that context would help me be diligent in this calling, because I find myself often tempted to choose the "easy" route. I would need someone whose identity is so lost in Christ, whose life is so wrapped up in her relationship with Him, that she would feel no need or desire to be married outside of doing so in obedience to God, to refine her in a way that would draw her closer to Him. Any takers?
You see, my life reeks of contentment in a worldly sense. I've pretty much been in cruise control for the last several years - I park cars, I travel the world, I play lots of sports, I hang out with friends... basically, I get to do whatever I want whenever I want. Most anyone who knows me (human validation - woo-hoo!!) tells me they would love to have my life. Yes, my life is certainly easy, but it has also gotten incredibly BORING. That's the problem with cruise control - it eventually can become so comfortable that it puts everyone in the car asleep, including the driver. I'm pretty sure there's no where in scripture where God calls someone to step back and live as easy, cushy, and safe life as possible, yet in Christian circles in America, this is the ideal we are often taught to strive for and are raised and schooled to achieve.
The point of all this is to not tell anyone weather they are better off married or single; I will trust that if they have a relationship with God, He will reveal that to them. The point here is that if we are looking for someone other than God to come along and complete our life, we are placing unfair expectations on that person, trying to get them to fill a role that only God can adequately fill, that will void us of pride/self-awareness/ and desire for man's approval. We often worship at the alter of romantic completion only to crucify our significant other when we realize they're not Jesus.
The tropical scenery is beautiful here - there's endless secluded beaches, gorgeous sunsets, huge volcanic mountains, picturesque waterfalls with natural pools to swim in, and all kinds of crazy plants and animals, both below and above the water. You can't help but worship God in the beauty of this part of His creation. It's no wonder so many honeymooning couples and families come here for an exotic getaway. People here seemed lost in the beauty, lost in the revelry of the moment, the food, the exotic feeling of being here with family and friends... all lost in the company of someone else. I've traveled all over the world, but Hawaii - more than any place I've been - seems to be all about enjoying the company of someone else. There are very few solo travelers here.
I turned 38 years old last month. Throughout most of my life, I've avoided most serious relationships with the female species, so much so, that when I got engaged a few years back, most of my friends and family had a hard time believing the news, whether the information came through a third party or even myself. "Yeah right...whatever", "Zack engaged? No way!", and "Did hell freeze over?" were commonly heard comments. I thought it was quite amusing at the time - even comical - that I had spent most of my younger life embracing the single lifestyle so strongly that it almost felt like I was letting people down or ruining an image that I had built up for myself over the years. To this day, I'm 100% grateful that I had this "engagement experience"; I'm also 100% grateful that we broke it off.
Most modern-day weddings disgust me. Don't get me wrong here. I truly respect the institution of marriage and believe it should be held in honor by all. I believe it is an institution that has been designed and created by God Himself, as a sanctifying agent, to give us a visual aid of what our relationship with Him is like. A team of two, united for one purpose, will always be stronger and more effective than one. God uses others to refine us; in a marriage, I believe this process is amplified, we are constantly "in the fire" if you will. Marriage is indeed a beautiful thing. I just think we have been sold a watered down ideal of it in "Christian" America that looks no different than what the rest of the world believes about it; perhaps even corrupting it a bit further because of our wealth and pride. Think about it: We spend thousands of dollars buying pieces of absolutely worthless rock, usually mined with the backs and blood of children because we've bought into the lie that "diamonds are forever" and are therefore a symbol of marriage. Are we that easily sold a cultural lie? We put on lavish ceremonies to display ourselves and throw parties that usually include drunken debauchery where the entire point seems to be to glorify ourselves with pictures, dress, dances .... all in the name of doing something ...Christian? Weddings in America, I fear, have gone the way of Christmas - we have commercialized and degraded the experience to the point we no longer understand what it really means. We've given it a part of life status equivalent to going to college, getting a job, a home - the "supposed to do" stuff if you want to be labeled a successful member of society.
The beauty of this whole process was to flesh out what marriage would do for me, in the context of living a life wholeheartedly for the sake of God's kingdom. In my early young adult days, I would usually immediately reject any set-up attempts by well-meaning Christian friends by adamantly defending my single lifestyle. I would brag about the freedom of my current state; in Christian circles I would flaunt that I had nothing preventing me financially, emotionally, physically, or socially (ok, some would argue this) from doing whatever God wanted me to do in life... with my life. I was, in essence, off the grid. Society had no pull on me or had anything I needed. I continued this line of reasoning until Someone pointed out to me that if I truly was living my life in such a state, I ought to ponder my level of accountability before a most holy God. Shortly thereafter, a good friend's wife (who I'd just met for the first time and tried to set me up with her sister) adamantly made the point that if I truly felt it was God's calling for me to stay single and serve Him, I should note that others who were confirmed in such a calling (John the Baptist, Paul, Francis of Assisi, David Livingston, Luther's early years, Mother Theresa, Rich Mullins) all lived lives that were so incredibly radically oriented to the cause of Christ's kingdom that a married/family life simply wouldn't have made much sense in light of spousely/parental duties in terms of family nurturing and child rearing. Needless to say, I was immediately humbled, extremely terrified, and suddenly wanted to get married.
So the question begs... what is right/best for me? What would being married do for me? Are there advantages in being married? Staying single? Can I ponder this honestly? I will try to throw all selfish desires aside as I think about this. Singleness, for me, creates an overwhelming sense of self awareness and therefore pride. I'm more conscious of how I look, how I act, and in general, what others in society perceive of me. Walk into a party, or church, or any social setting alone and you will usually find yourself much more conscious of self or how you're perceived than if you walk in with someone else. I think, perhaps, that this is accentuated by the cultural pressure to be "in a relationship." When you're not, and you're 38, you feel the need to convince those around you that there's nothing wrong with you that is preventing this. People start wondering what's wrong with you or what's happened in your past or what kind of "issues" you have that are preventing you from being in a relationship. In the brief period in which I was engaged, especially when she was around me, I never really felt this. In essence, my identity was lost in or part of someone else's and this made me OK. You get this feeling of validation before your fellow man that says "See, look - I'm worthy of someone's affection". Society is obsessed with this - we use phrases like "married up" or "married down", thus assigning a recognized feeling of worth, within invisible layers determined by one's own society. Christ definitely married down, when He took on us (His church) as His bride.
I think God's desire is that our relationship with Him is like this - our identity should be so lost in Him in His presence, in living our lives before an Audience of One, that we would always feel we are quite complete before a watching world, never needing their approval to validate ourselves. Our existence should be so wrapped up in our identity in loving and serving Him, that we would never need anyone's approval to make ourselves feel we are all right, thus losing our sense of self-awareness that leads to pride. One of my favorite passages in the entire Bible is Mark 12:13-17, where Jesus's enemies try to get Him in trouble with the Romans (and Jews) by questioning Him about who taxes should be paid to. They (His ENEMIES) intro their question with "Teacher, we know you are true, for you do not value the opinions of men". Let's think about this in two ways: #1)Jesus (being God) must have thought the idea of seeking their approval seemed silly, since after all, He had created them. #2)Jesus (being human) knew that what He was speaking and what He was representing to a watching world was 100% truth, therefore He felt no fear in living his life before men or valuing their approval at all, because He knew He WAS TRUTH. So anytime we stand before men, or a spouse, or any audience and are continually obsessed with selling our self, we will always be overly self-conscience or fearful with what others think or how they perceive us, because we know our identity is that of a fallen creature with faults, that is not perfect, and does not represent perfect truth....unless we are able to totally lose our identity in that of Another, who has no faults or limitations or weaknesses and represents complete truth. The beauty of the Christian's testimony is we should be the first to confess our faults and weaknesses; this breaks down our own barriers and others' that we interact with, because by admitting faults and weaknesses, we are attempting to present our true self. If our relationship with God is not to this point, we probably have no business getting married; it would be quite unfair to someone else to base our identity in them, and then try to sell that identity, packaged with our own, as something completely perfect or to be respected by a watching world.
The problem with marriage for me is it seems, from observing society, that it creates unhealthy fears. Fear is an extremely manipulative emotion that drives us to live boring lives; our greatest fears are relational. We get married with big dreams, then usually fall prey to our culture of comfort and security, trying our best to not do anything that would "rock the boat" in our fragile human relationships. I think we tend to do human relationships so poorly that even in a "Christian" marriage there is an overwhelming desire to maintain peace at all costs, so we try to set ourselves up with a house, good jobs, and other things that make our lives easy and comfortable. Admittedly, in my brief period of being engaged, I thought about such things constantly (health insurance, place to live, good job) to the point where I know I would have joined the fearful ranks of the American Christians who strive to live their daily lives with as much safety and security as possible. This cultural ideal for a good marriage, in my opinion, has put the church in slumber. No longer does being a Christ-follower mean living a radical, if not epic life. It seems we have fallen prey to the idea that a good Christian home is one that fits respectfully and stably within the society surrounding it - which is tempting in that it is easy and gains the respect of peers, but to me would eventually become incredibly boring. For me to have a successful marriage I would, in essence, need someone who doesn't need me, whose life is already so complete that the only reason she'd want to marry me would be in obedience to something God wanted her to do with her life; to partner with someone to continue to live an epic adventure of following and serving Christ fearlessly, regardless of the cost to her comfort and security. Having someone whom I love deeply who would put our relationship (as a unit) fearlessly before God and constantly remind me of who I am in that context would help me be diligent in this calling, because I find myself often tempted to choose the "easy" route. I would need someone whose identity is so lost in Christ, whose life is so wrapped up in her relationship with Him, that she would feel no need or desire to be married outside of doing so in obedience to God, to refine her in a way that would draw her closer to Him. Any takers?
You see, my life reeks of contentment in a worldly sense. I've pretty much been in cruise control for the last several years - I park cars, I travel the world, I play lots of sports, I hang out with friends... basically, I get to do whatever I want whenever I want. Most anyone who knows me (human validation - woo-hoo!!) tells me they would love to have my life. Yes, my life is certainly easy, but it has also gotten incredibly BORING. That's the problem with cruise control - it eventually can become so comfortable that it puts everyone in the car asleep, including the driver. I'm pretty sure there's no where in scripture where God calls someone to step back and live as easy, cushy, and safe life as possible, yet in Christian circles in America, this is the ideal we are often taught to strive for and are raised and schooled to achieve.
The point of all this is to not tell anyone weather they are better off married or single; I will trust that if they have a relationship with God, He will reveal that to them. The point here is that if we are looking for someone other than God to come along and complete our life, we are placing unfair expectations on that person, trying to get them to fill a role that only God can adequately fill, that will void us of pride/self-awareness/ and desire for man's approval. We often worship at the alter of romantic completion only to crucify our significant other when we realize they're not Jesus.
Friday, March 11, 2011
The Start of Denominationalism: Why I am more righteous than you....
Several years ago, I was in a pretty serious relationship, so I bought a condo and got engaged. I had been a semi-homeless, wandering derelict for quite a while, but figured if I was really going to get married we ought to have a place to live. I certainly didn't mind living under a bridge and eating macaroni or ramen noodles every night, but was convinced this was probably not conducive to a healthy family life; at least that was what most members of society were telling me. We eventually broke off the engagement (a good thing for both of us - more on that later), which made my roommate quite happy at the time, because it meant he got to stay. I still had a pretty spacious two bedroom condo; it seemed like a waste of good living space for only two people, especially after traveling around the world for many years and seeing so many people suffering from a lack of shelter. So I began to say "yes" to anyone looking for a roommate or place to live. Since then, my condo -- and my life -- has stayed pretty full. Lessons are best learned in community with others, I think.
It's been amazing for me to see how many people, even in our "great" country, are desperately in need of permanent housing or even a place to spend a night. I've never advertised or recruited anyone; most of my roommates have come to me through random life situations or through the "referral" of friends. I think our American culture has promoted individualism to the point where it is even looked down on as "weird" to be living in community, especially in a multi-family situation. My condo has become known as the Holly Oaks Hostel; I get approached often with requests from well-meaning Christians for friends of theirs going through tough times - whether it be financial issues, marital problems, job re-locations, or even just good ol' derelicts like myself who need a warm, dry place to rest their weary head. I'm usually over-booked; I've learned to challenge my well-meaning Christian friends (who are usually married) with: "Why not your place? He's your friend! You've got a lot more room than I do!" This usually makes them uncomfortable - I usually get "that wouldn't be practical" as a response. Sadly, our culture has labeled it "weird" for married people or people with families to provide extended hospitality to others in a bind, causing many to be deprived of one the greatest joys in the Christain's life - extending hospitality to someone in need. I've had multiple couch surfers, people living on my recliner, people renting floor space, people wanting to rent out the back balcony.... I actually had a "waiting list" for my couch for a while. Admittedly, there have been some sticky situations, but overall, the experience of being a "slumlord" has brought me great joy, taught me a lot about hospitality, and brought many new friends into my life.
One of those friends was a guy named Brian. He'd been through some tough times - lost a job, been evicted, lost his car, and was in a bad relationship. He really just needed a new start and some time (and a place) to get his feet back on the ground - a married couple from my church asked me if he could stay at my place for a while. For all I knew, the guy was an ax-murderer, but I had a vacant couch, so I said "sure". I'm not the most out-going person in the world, but within about three days, we became good buddies - he was just that kind of guy.... you met him, you liked him. He moved out a long time ago, but to this day I am still envious of his natural ability to meet people and become close friends with them. Complete strangers - everyone from convicts to celebrities - wanted to trade contact information with him and hang out with him within about thirty minutes of meeting him. You'd want to be his best friend, too.
He wanted to go to to the church where I was going at the time. He'd already met some people from it at a big "tent revival" held here in Dallas and - quite naturally - had become good friends with them. He didn't have a car, so he rode with me every week - a drive that was about twenty minutes each way. To this day, I can't remember who or when or exactly what started it, but we officially began the fantastical (debatable) organization known as the Pharisidical Council. If you are of the type that can get offended when religion is flippantly discussed, I'd suggest you stop reading this blog right HERE.
At some point, during some theological argument on the drive to church, we both declared ourselves Pharisees (in memory of the ones during Christ's earthly life), and decided that the only way to properly defend our arguments was to convince each other and those around us at church that we were indeed more righteous than everyone else around us. Everything was said and done "tongue-in-cheek", but it got pretty bad. It started out with bringing bigger Bibles ("The bigger the Bible, the bigger the Christian!") multiple Bibles ("Two Bibles equals twice as righteous"), dressing up to look extra-righteous, and getting to Sunday school super early and sitting on the front row each week, so everyone else could be in awe of how righteous we were. It escalated quickly to wearing sun glasses and covering our faces with "veils" so we wouldn't be blinded or blind others with the shekinah glory coming from our faces - obvious evidence that we had been in the presence of the Lord that morning before church. We would scream "unclean!" when a non-council member would bump into us, because they were obviously less righteous than us. We threatened to start dressing up each week for church like cardinals or even in papal vestments (we never did) and walk around the church blessing people with the sign of the cross and holy water the way the pope does. We even had a skit worked up: On Brian's week to lead Sunday school, he was going to teach on divorce (a dicey subject in our modern day church), coming down hard on all the remarried divorcees as adulterers... Jonathan Edwards style. At the apex of his condemnation of all the divorcees as adulterers, I was going to stand up, tear my priestly robes, scream "hypocrite!" and chase Brian (he was divorced) out of the room, stoning him with pencils and erasers the whole way down the hall. This never happened either; he decided to teach on "blessed are the peacemakers" instead. I'll stop with that, for fear anyone reading this blog will write me off as a complete heretic -- but these ideas were only the beginning. Let your collective imaginations run wild. Brian lived with me for eight months, and for about thirty minutes every Sunday on the way to church, we plotted and schemed and invented new methods, new skits, and new one-liners that we would use to try to convince others that we were more righteous than those around us, including each other. Brian, being pretty witty, would usually come out on top with the most creative phrases and ideas, but being a true Pharisee I would always refuse to humble myself and admit defeat. I probably laughed more each of those Sunday mornings in those thirty minutes than I did the rest of my week.
The reality was we had created a microcosm, albeit an exaggerated one, of what church denominations really are. An Episcopalian missionary (who called his own denomination the "frozen chosen") put it best. He said, in his view, the main reason churches have broken away and formed new churches is this: When we read the Bible, when we pray, when we seek God with all our hearts and try to understand what it means to be Christ-like and live our lives the way he did and compare our life to His, the result is often so terrifying and so scary and so seemingly impossible, that we pull back, and resort to living and validating our lives and Christian walk by simply comparing ourselves to the other "Christians" around us. The Pharisees did it in Christ's society; the common Christian usually does it in ours (I'm guilty). We are called to be one, but most Christians in America define their identity not by Who they know or by what they do for the Kingdom of Christ, but by differentiating themselves from other Christians, usually based on certain doctrinal beliefs or by the church body they attend, or by a famous theologian they admire. Even Paul, Peter, and Apollos had to deal with this in their day. We make ourselves feel superior by pointing out our style of worship, what kind of songs we sing, or how good our respective clergy can orate. Our doctrinal statements often accentuate theological intricacies that define us from other churches or denominations, as if we're better than them due to the way we interpret certain Bible verses, or how often we take the Lord's Supper, or in the way it is served. We fight for and against pet moral issues in the public sector, like abortion and gay marriage, so that we can make ourselves feel good about our own righteousness compared to the un-churched heathens, since most of us that attend church haven't had abortions or participated in overtly homosexual behavior. I've seen many "pro-life" and "Marriage = One man + One Woman" bumper stickers on the back of fancy cars in church parking lots here in Dallas, but have yet to see a "feed the hungry" bumper sticker on the back of a Mercedes Benz. The point is, that we "Christians" are guilty of creating many different pseudo-Christian religions/sects that attempt to attract members by creating environments where we can validate our sense of morality by comparing ourselves to others in our society - both churched and unchurched - and providing the doctrinal statement/stance/rules to back it up. Pharisees in the 21st century, if you will - no different than the ones Jesus dealt with in His day.
I don't believe it was ever God's design for us (the church) to practice a religion. He wants a relationship, an intimate, loving marriage if you will, where we commune with Him in daily worship and live our lives bearing His image - showing and making His love and His glory known to others. The idea of being in such an abstract relationship makes many of us uncomfortable; we like our created religions where we can just check of our Christian responsibilities like a "to do" list. It makes our relationship with God much more comfortable and seemingly doable. I don't think God is ever impressed with this kind of "religion", especially when it is done in the name of Christ. Paul was the most righteous of Pharisees (in a check-list sort of way), but God struck him blind, and the rich young ruler walked away sad, shortly after telling Jesus he had kept all the commandments. They were both devout followers of God, a.k.a "religious", but neither had a loving relationship with Him at the time. Imagine how your significant other would feel if you just related to him/her with a check-list every day...."bought flowers/chocolates....kissed her...told her I loved her...told her she was beautiful...spent time with him...told him I loved and respected him) and then went in and checked it off a list posted on the fridge. I don't think she/he would find this very meaningful. Sure -- it's easier, but not real meaningful.
The point of all this is to say that, despite all the problems the church - the bride of Christ - has, I think our lack of oneness is the most egregious of all our sins as a corporate body. It was/is our job to show Christ and make Him known to a watching world. One of His last prayers before He was crucified was "I pray, Father, that they would all be one, as You and I are one, so that the world would know that you sent me." Does the world know this? Obviously not. If we work backwards in this verse, we can determine the cause of this failure. Welcome to the Pharasidical Council, where we "set ourselves apart" from each other.
I think when this life is over, when this world is gone, and we kneel before an infinite Creator and give an account of our earthly lives, He probably won't ask us where we went to church or how often we went. He won't really care what kind of music we sang, how we dressed each week, or to whom we traced the ancestry of our church leadership, or how good our preacher was, or even how much we knew about the Bible. I pretty sure this will all seem pathetically trivial at the time. Instead, I think He'll ask us if we knew His Son. I think He'll ask if if we fed and clothed our neighbors and gave them shelter when they were hungry and naked and cold.. I think He'll ask us if we visited widows, prisoners, and orphans and befriended the lonely. He'll want to know who we told about Him, and if our lives backed up His message of love, mercy, and grace. "It wasn't practical" won't seem like a very good excuse at the time. The Bible makes it pretty clear what was expected from Christ's followers during times of heavy persecution; I tremble about what this means for the church in America, with our freedoms and riches. We can start by being one in Christ. Enable us Lord. In Christ's name, Amen.
It's been amazing for me to see how many people, even in our "great" country, are desperately in need of permanent housing or even a place to spend a night. I've never advertised or recruited anyone; most of my roommates have come to me through random life situations or through the "referral" of friends. I think our American culture has promoted individualism to the point where it is even looked down on as "weird" to be living in community, especially in a multi-family situation. My condo has become known as the Holly Oaks Hostel; I get approached often with requests from well-meaning Christians for friends of theirs going through tough times - whether it be financial issues, marital problems, job re-locations, or even just good ol' derelicts like myself who need a warm, dry place to rest their weary head. I'm usually over-booked; I've learned to challenge my well-meaning Christian friends (who are usually married) with: "Why not your place? He's your friend! You've got a lot more room than I do!" This usually makes them uncomfortable - I usually get "that wouldn't be practical" as a response. Sadly, our culture has labeled it "weird" for married people or people with families to provide extended hospitality to others in a bind, causing many to be deprived of one the greatest joys in the Christain's life - extending hospitality to someone in need. I've had multiple couch surfers, people living on my recliner, people renting floor space, people wanting to rent out the back balcony.... I actually had a "waiting list" for my couch for a while. Admittedly, there have been some sticky situations, but overall, the experience of being a "slumlord" has brought me great joy, taught me a lot about hospitality, and brought many new friends into my life.
One of those friends was a guy named Brian. He'd been through some tough times - lost a job, been evicted, lost his car, and was in a bad relationship. He really just needed a new start and some time (and a place) to get his feet back on the ground - a married couple from my church asked me if he could stay at my place for a while. For all I knew, the guy was an ax-murderer, but I had a vacant couch, so I said "sure". I'm not the most out-going person in the world, but within about three days, we became good buddies - he was just that kind of guy.... you met him, you liked him. He moved out a long time ago, but to this day I am still envious of his natural ability to meet people and become close friends with them. Complete strangers - everyone from convicts to celebrities - wanted to trade contact information with him and hang out with him within about thirty minutes of meeting him. You'd want to be his best friend, too.
He wanted to go to to the church where I was going at the time. He'd already met some people from it at a big "tent revival" held here in Dallas and - quite naturally - had become good friends with them. He didn't have a car, so he rode with me every week - a drive that was about twenty minutes each way. To this day, I can't remember who or when or exactly what started it, but we officially began the fantastical (debatable) organization known as the Pharisidical Council. If you are of the type that can get offended when religion is flippantly discussed, I'd suggest you stop reading this blog right HERE.
At some point, during some theological argument on the drive to church, we both declared ourselves Pharisees (in memory of the ones during Christ's earthly life), and decided that the only way to properly defend our arguments was to convince each other and those around us at church that we were indeed more righteous than everyone else around us. Everything was said and done "tongue-in-cheek", but it got pretty bad. It started out with bringing bigger Bibles ("The bigger the Bible, the bigger the Christian!") multiple Bibles ("Two Bibles equals twice as righteous"), dressing up to look extra-righteous, and getting to Sunday school super early and sitting on the front row each week, so everyone else could be in awe of how righteous we were. It escalated quickly to wearing sun glasses and covering our faces with "veils" so we wouldn't be blinded or blind others with the shekinah glory coming from our faces - obvious evidence that we had been in the presence of the Lord that morning before church. We would scream "unclean!" when a non-council member would bump into us, because they were obviously less righteous than us. We threatened to start dressing up each week for church like cardinals or even in papal vestments (we never did) and walk around the church blessing people with the sign of the cross and holy water the way the pope does. We even had a skit worked up: On Brian's week to lead Sunday school, he was going to teach on divorce (a dicey subject in our modern day church), coming down hard on all the remarried divorcees as adulterers... Jonathan Edwards style. At the apex of his condemnation of all the divorcees as adulterers, I was going to stand up, tear my priestly robes, scream "hypocrite!" and chase Brian (he was divorced) out of the room, stoning him with pencils and erasers the whole way down the hall. This never happened either; he decided to teach on "blessed are the peacemakers" instead. I'll stop with that, for fear anyone reading this blog will write me off as a complete heretic -- but these ideas were only the beginning. Let your collective imaginations run wild. Brian lived with me for eight months, and for about thirty minutes every Sunday on the way to church, we plotted and schemed and invented new methods, new skits, and new one-liners that we would use to try to convince others that we were more righteous than those around us, including each other. Brian, being pretty witty, would usually come out on top with the most creative phrases and ideas, but being a true Pharisee I would always refuse to humble myself and admit defeat. I probably laughed more each of those Sunday mornings in those thirty minutes than I did the rest of my week.
The reality was we had created a microcosm, albeit an exaggerated one, of what church denominations really are. An Episcopalian missionary (who called his own denomination the "frozen chosen") put it best. He said, in his view, the main reason churches have broken away and formed new churches is this: When we read the Bible, when we pray, when we seek God with all our hearts and try to understand what it means to be Christ-like and live our lives the way he did and compare our life to His, the result is often so terrifying and so scary and so seemingly impossible, that we pull back, and resort to living and validating our lives and Christian walk by simply comparing ourselves to the other "Christians" around us. The Pharisees did it in Christ's society; the common Christian usually does it in ours (I'm guilty). We are called to be one, but most Christians in America define their identity not by Who they know or by what they do for the Kingdom of Christ, but by differentiating themselves from other Christians, usually based on certain doctrinal beliefs or by the church body they attend, or by a famous theologian they admire. Even Paul, Peter, and Apollos had to deal with this in their day. We make ourselves feel superior by pointing out our style of worship, what kind of songs we sing, or how good our respective clergy can orate. Our doctrinal statements often accentuate theological intricacies that define us from other churches or denominations, as if we're better than them due to the way we interpret certain Bible verses, or how often we take the Lord's Supper, or in the way it is served. We fight for and against pet moral issues in the public sector, like abortion and gay marriage, so that we can make ourselves feel good about our own righteousness compared to the un-churched heathens, since most of us that attend church haven't had abortions or participated in overtly homosexual behavior. I've seen many "pro-life" and "Marriage = One man + One Woman" bumper stickers on the back of fancy cars in church parking lots here in Dallas, but have yet to see a "feed the hungry" bumper sticker on the back of a Mercedes Benz. The point is, that we "Christians" are guilty of creating many different pseudo-Christian religions/sects that attempt to attract members by creating environments where we can validate our sense of morality by comparing ourselves to others in our society - both churched and unchurched - and providing the doctrinal statement/stance/rules to back it up. Pharisees in the 21st century, if you will - no different than the ones Jesus dealt with in His day.
I don't believe it was ever God's design for us (the church) to practice a religion. He wants a relationship, an intimate, loving marriage if you will, where we commune with Him in daily worship and live our lives bearing His image - showing and making His love and His glory known to others. The idea of being in such an abstract relationship makes many of us uncomfortable; we like our created religions where we can just check of our Christian responsibilities like a "to do" list. It makes our relationship with God much more comfortable and seemingly doable. I don't think God is ever impressed with this kind of "religion", especially when it is done in the name of Christ. Paul was the most righteous of Pharisees (in a check-list sort of way), but God struck him blind, and the rich young ruler walked away sad, shortly after telling Jesus he had kept all the commandments. They were both devout followers of God, a.k.a "religious", but neither had a loving relationship with Him at the time. Imagine how your significant other would feel if you just related to him/her with a check-list every day...."bought flowers/chocolates....kissed her...told her I loved her...told her she was beautiful...spent time with him...told him I loved and respected him) and then went in and checked it off a list posted on the fridge. I don't think she/he would find this very meaningful. Sure -- it's easier, but not real meaningful.
The point of all this is to say that, despite all the problems the church - the bride of Christ - has, I think our lack of oneness is the most egregious of all our sins as a corporate body. It was/is our job to show Christ and make Him known to a watching world. One of His last prayers before He was crucified was "I pray, Father, that they would all be one, as You and I are one, so that the world would know that you sent me." Does the world know this? Obviously not. If we work backwards in this verse, we can determine the cause of this failure. Welcome to the Pharasidical Council, where we "set ourselves apart" from each other.
I think when this life is over, when this world is gone, and we kneel before an infinite Creator and give an account of our earthly lives, He probably won't ask us where we went to church or how often we went. He won't really care what kind of music we sang, how we dressed each week, or to whom we traced the ancestry of our church leadership, or how good our preacher was, or even how much we knew about the Bible. I pretty sure this will all seem pathetically trivial at the time. Instead, I think He'll ask us if we knew His Son. I think He'll ask if if we fed and clothed our neighbors and gave them shelter when they were hungry and naked and cold.. I think He'll ask us if we visited widows, prisoners, and orphans and befriended the lonely. He'll want to know who we told about Him, and if our lives backed up His message of love, mercy, and grace. "It wasn't practical" won't seem like a very good excuse at the time. The Bible makes it pretty clear what was expected from Christ's followers during times of heavy persecution; I tremble about what this means for the church in America, with our freedoms and riches. We can start by being one in Christ. Enable us Lord. In Christ's name, Amen.
Being an Image-Bearer of the King: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
It was the Summer of 2003, I had quit my job and was living in the mountains of Colorado in a tent. I really believe God likes to camp -- I truly believe He led me out there, to a place where He and I could just "hang-out", where I would be away from many of the distractions of big-city living in Dallas that were entangling my life. It was a fantastic summer -- I learned more in four months than I had in 30 years of going to church -- there will be other blogs on that later, perhaps. I had a good time, made some good friends, and saw some fantastic scenery -- but one of the greatest things I got out of the summer was a new direction for my life, job-wise.
I realized I would probably eventually be heading back to Dallas (it gets pretty cold camping in the Colorado mountains during the winter), and would need to find a "job" again. I didn't want to sell paint any more; although I was in a good spot when I left, I was kind of burned out, and figured I needed to preserve what few remaining brain cells I had left for other endeavors. Even though I was in a situation where, financially, I didn't need to work for a while, I figured I ought to be employed -- at age 30, just not working made me look lazy, and telling people I was retired would come off as prideful/arrogant. My little brother had been working for a valet company in Dallas when I left while he was in seminary and had tried to talk me in to working part-time with him -- a bit "beneath" me at the time, perhaps, but it was still an attractive offer to me. It's contract valet -- you call in each week, and can choose whenever/wherever you want to work -- thus allowing great freedom with the job. You get to run around a lot (good exercise), drive cool cars, meet famous people, and make pretty good money. The company started employees at $8.00/hour plus tips, which usually ends up somewhere in the $15-$20 an hour range, sometimes much more, depending on the event. I certainly wasn't making that much per hour in retail management. Tips were predominantly not reported by the employees (and definitely not by the company), a situation made possible by the fact that the base pay was high (up to $13.50), so unlike a waiter or other valet companies, the IRS would probably never have a problem with it, especially since it was part-time work for most people there. I was really attracted to this aspect of the job, because in my Republican, Ron Paul-esque mindset, I was not a big fan of paying taxes to a corrupt government to be used for corrupt purposes. But every time I had entertained the idea of valeting before, I felt something was preventing me.
All my life, by God's grace, and in His mercy, I feel like He has mightily protected me from the most egregious of sins, as society would label them. I haven't slept around, used alcohol or drugs, or committed crimes or other such heinous acts that society, and (sadly) Christians tend to point fingers at and label as "bad." This isn't to pat myself on the back or make myself look as a holier-than-thou, God knows (yes, He does) that I'm among the chief of sinners, living much of my life full of pride and selfishness, having lustful and covetous thoughts, dishonoring my parents, placing other gods before Him, and absolutely murdering people with my tongue. In God's mercy He continues to forgive me and mold me. His Spirit lives in me and continues to convict me to the point of confession, a relationship made possible by the payment of His son's death for my sins and me accepting Him as my savior. So I'm not claiming any goodness of or on my own --I'm simply saying that somehow, despite opportunities to indulge in the worst of debauchery as society and our modern day church would have it, I've always been protected from such evil. I was never quite sure why, I certainly had it in me to do such things -- I was just somehow always prevented from indulging.
That summer, more than ever before, I came face-to-face with the idea that I was God's ambassador - His image bearer -- an ambassador of Christ, THE King, Himself. We represent Him to a watching world, a watching church, to show the world what He looks like -- less the message of the gospel, His eternal autobiography to reveal himself to all creation, be tarnished or discredited. I tremble as I ponder the responsibility of this. I think one of the most revealing passages in the whole Bible about this is the one in which David commits adultery with Bathsheba and has her husband killed. Nathan comes to David, then king of Israel, and "tricks" him into condemning himself for what he has done. Nathan then announces David's punishment (that the child would die and the sword would not depart from his house). Adultery and murder would seem pretty significant to us, even in our modern society of tolerance, but when announcing David's punishment, it's interesting that Nathan doesn't even include these as the causes of God's judgment. He says "...because you've given the enemies of the Lord a reason to blaspheme." Here was David, the earthly king of God's chosen nation, the head-honcho of the nation whose job was to represent Him -- His image -- to the rest of a watching world, and David had chosen to show them that God is an adulterer and a murderer. The gravity of this in God's eyes was far more serious than killing some guy or sleeping with his wife. His image to a watching world -- represented more than anyone else at the time by the earthly king of the people that the world saw as His nation -- and therefore the message of His story about Himself, had been tarnished. David, who is the only person we know who was described by God as "a man after my own heart" understood the context and gravity of what he'd done. In his oft-studied confession in Psalm 51 he writes "against You and You only have I sinned." I had always been curious about this, because it certainly would seem that he sinned and committed evil against Bathsheba and her husband Uriah. But in the context of having dishonored the image of God, David felt like this was almost nothing. It would be like a thief stealing $1,000,000,000.10. The news would just report that a billion dollars had been stolen -- the ten cents would seem pretty much irrelevant to all involved parties, even though it was stolen as well. David had "stolen" from God's image, and God wanted it back, to show it before a watching world. So He used David's whole sin/conviction/repentance process to give us one of the most beautiful prayers of repentance in scripture, to bring glory to His name once again by showing the world His divine grace and seemingly unending mercies towards His creatures that would rebel against Him. Thank You, Lord.
This is what God laid on my heart that summer, in relation to my "re-employment". He did indeed want me to go back and be a valet - a service-industry job where I'd learn to serve others, where I would learn to view and treat other people as higher than myself, where I would cater to their needs in the simple role of parking their cars. No longer would I feel humanistic pride by flashing a business card and telling them what I did "for a living". I would get to meet, work with, and become good friends with people from all over the world with various religious backgrounds. Almost every religion, even every "Christian" denomination is represented in our company. It was in this role, that for 7 years, God wanted to shape me, teach me, and mold me into the leader -- the servant that He could use greatly in His kingdom. He wanted (and still wants) to change me into a person that He can trust to bear his image before men. I came back from Colorado, walked into my apartment, and took a phone call. The operations manager of the valet company my brother was working for was calling for him; I told him my brother wasn't home. He then asked me if I wanted to come be a valet.
So here's my confession. When God led me to this "servant's role", part of what He wanted me to do was to report all my tips, to the other valets (obviously, since we split tips -- well...at least most of us do), to the company office (even though they don't) and of course, to the IRS. While most other valets are honest with each other, many don't accurate report event info to the company office, and almost none report tips to the IRS. Like I said earlier, it's usually a part time job for most. The company certainly doesn't pass along the info on its W-2s, and the base-pay rate is high enough to keep everything looking on the up-and-up. I've actually only met two other valets (out of about 2000 in a 7-year span) that told me they kept track of all their tip money and reported it as additional revenue to the IRS each year. We were the "weirdos", but I still felt that this was something God had deliberately instructed to do, especially when I signed the "I certify all the above information is correct" on my 1040 each year. I always had. Until this year. How ironic this is about to get.
I've taken this year off so far, to try to do some writing about things God has laid on my heart, mostly just to clarify/hash out things God has laid on my heart about my life and life in general, to try to get a better perspective on what my life role may be in the context of God's eternal plan, while living on this temporal earth. I wanted to step back and get an view of my own life from an observer's perspective, which is one of the reasons I believe I was led to start putting things on paper. I felt this would help me categorize random thing that had been flowing around in my head over the past several years. I wanted to remove some time-consuming activities and concerns that were distracting me so I told the valet office I'd be out for a while, cashed out of the stock market, and bought a bus pass. My roommates both sold me on using "Turbo-tax" to do my taxes for the first time -- I agreed mainly just because I didn't want to do all the messy paperwork associated with 1040 -- I had bigger and better things to focus on. I didn't work a whole lot last year for the valet company, lost a good bit of money in the stock market by getting completely out (more on that later, maybe), and therefore was due to get back pretty much all (if not more) of the federal income tax that the company had withheld from my paychecks. I accurately entered all the info the program asked for, from the "amount in box A of W-2", to the "tips not reported to the employer" (I put 0, since I indeed had reported all my tips to the company, even though I knew they wouldn't pass it along) and the interest income. I left the "income from capital gains/stocks" section blank, even though I knew the IRS would receive 1099s, justifying it with the thought that since I'd taken losses, I'd actually had no income. I finished the easy session by confidently signing (via e-file) that everything was correct and honest, since, technically, on paper, it was. In the back of my mind I acknowledged that God had always led me to report all tip income to the IRS as a witness of His character to all my other valets and whoever else may be watching me, but I went ahead with the justification that I wasn't cheating/lying/stealing on my taxes, since if the IRS or anyone ever audited me for the year, I'd come out clean; the stock losses I took far outweighed the extra tips I didn't report, and I was probably actually owed more money than I got back using turbo-tax, since the reality was I'd actually over-reported my income because of this. Bring on the IRS I thought; the joke's on them if they actually audit me.
Many might argue that not being completely transparently honest on a turbo-tax form is not near as serious as adultery and murder, but as an image bearer of the King Himself, it is quite the same. People know me as a Christian - someone who is an ambassador of the message of the glory of God on this earth. I am robbing God of this glory by not bearing His image accurately before men and a watching world. Whether a thief steals $1,000,000,000.10 or only $1,000,000,000.05, the crime will still be reported as someone stealing a billion dollars; the extra pennies will seem irrelevant. Forgive me, Lord for I have sinned against You. Restore me to Yourself anew. Use me for Your purposes, that I would know You more. Do this regardless of the cost, but only in Your love and mercy. In Christ's name, Amen.
I'm still trying to figure out what all this means for me and for my life. I have felt that God has protected me from myself, from many sins I was tempted to do and even attempted to do, to bear witness of Him in some sort of public sphere before a watching church, a watching nation, and a watching world, or even a watching universe. I have yet to figure out how this will look. I've dabbled in politics but am convinced God desires to change the world through His church, not through political power or legislation. This perhaps comes across as boastful - like I think I'm somebody special, or have superb abilities to teach, speak, or write. I assure you this is not true. I'm fairly quiet and anti-social by nature; I prefer "alone" time much more than a big crowd. It's just that at this point, I can't figure out why God's hand of protection against "visible" or "researchable" sins in my life has been greater than I can properly explain; greater than that of many of my family and friends who certainly have lived more Christ-like lives than me, whose lives bear much more evidence of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. In terms of human evaluation in a public sphere, I could stand before men trying to dig up dirt on me and say "Do your worst!". I'm sure they will. Maybe, just maybe, God will allow me to read this confession to someone, so that His name, His glory, and the ever-unfolding story of His divine grace will be known to even more men. So help me God.
I realized I would probably eventually be heading back to Dallas (it gets pretty cold camping in the Colorado mountains during the winter), and would need to find a "job" again. I didn't want to sell paint any more; although I was in a good spot when I left, I was kind of burned out, and figured I needed to preserve what few remaining brain cells I had left for other endeavors. Even though I was in a situation where, financially, I didn't need to work for a while, I figured I ought to be employed -- at age 30, just not working made me look lazy, and telling people I was retired would come off as prideful/arrogant. My little brother had been working for a valet company in Dallas when I left while he was in seminary and had tried to talk me in to working part-time with him -- a bit "beneath" me at the time, perhaps, but it was still an attractive offer to me. It's contract valet -- you call in each week, and can choose whenever/wherever you want to work -- thus allowing great freedom with the job. You get to run around a lot (good exercise), drive cool cars, meet famous people, and make pretty good money. The company started employees at $8.00/hour plus tips, which usually ends up somewhere in the $15-$20 an hour range, sometimes much more, depending on the event. I certainly wasn't making that much per hour in retail management. Tips were predominantly not reported by the employees (and definitely not by the company), a situation made possible by the fact that the base pay was high (up to $13.50), so unlike a waiter or other valet companies, the IRS would probably never have a problem with it, especially since it was part-time work for most people there. I was really attracted to this aspect of the job, because in my Republican, Ron Paul-esque mindset, I was not a big fan of paying taxes to a corrupt government to be used for corrupt purposes. But every time I had entertained the idea of valeting before, I felt something was preventing me.
All my life, by God's grace, and in His mercy, I feel like He has mightily protected me from the most egregious of sins, as society would label them. I haven't slept around, used alcohol or drugs, or committed crimes or other such heinous acts that society, and (sadly) Christians tend to point fingers at and label as "bad." This isn't to pat myself on the back or make myself look as a holier-than-thou, God knows (yes, He does) that I'm among the chief of sinners, living much of my life full of pride and selfishness, having lustful and covetous thoughts, dishonoring my parents, placing other gods before Him, and absolutely murdering people with my tongue. In God's mercy He continues to forgive me and mold me. His Spirit lives in me and continues to convict me to the point of confession, a relationship made possible by the payment of His son's death for my sins and me accepting Him as my savior. So I'm not claiming any goodness of or on my own --I'm simply saying that somehow, despite opportunities to indulge in the worst of debauchery as society and our modern day church would have it, I've always been protected from such evil. I was never quite sure why, I certainly had it in me to do such things -- I was just somehow always prevented from indulging.
That summer, more than ever before, I came face-to-face with the idea that I was God's ambassador - His image bearer -- an ambassador of Christ, THE King, Himself. We represent Him to a watching world, a watching church, to show the world what He looks like -- less the message of the gospel, His eternal autobiography to reveal himself to all creation, be tarnished or discredited. I tremble as I ponder the responsibility of this. I think one of the most revealing passages in the whole Bible about this is the one in which David commits adultery with Bathsheba and has her husband killed. Nathan comes to David, then king of Israel, and "tricks" him into condemning himself for what he has done. Nathan then announces David's punishment (that the child would die and the sword would not depart from his house). Adultery and murder would seem pretty significant to us, even in our modern society of tolerance, but when announcing David's punishment, it's interesting that Nathan doesn't even include these as the causes of God's judgment. He says "...because you've given the enemies of the Lord a reason to blaspheme." Here was David, the earthly king of God's chosen nation, the head-honcho of the nation whose job was to represent Him -- His image -- to the rest of a watching world, and David had chosen to show them that God is an adulterer and a murderer. The gravity of this in God's eyes was far more serious than killing some guy or sleeping with his wife. His image to a watching world -- represented more than anyone else at the time by the earthly king of the people that the world saw as His nation -- and therefore the message of His story about Himself, had been tarnished. David, who is the only person we know who was described by God as "a man after my own heart" understood the context and gravity of what he'd done. In his oft-studied confession in Psalm 51 he writes "against You and You only have I sinned." I had always been curious about this, because it certainly would seem that he sinned and committed evil against Bathsheba and her husband Uriah. But in the context of having dishonored the image of God, David felt like this was almost nothing. It would be like a thief stealing $1,000,000,000.10. The news would just report that a billion dollars had been stolen -- the ten cents would seem pretty much irrelevant to all involved parties, even though it was stolen as well. David had "stolen" from God's image, and God wanted it back, to show it before a watching world. So He used David's whole sin/conviction/repentance process to give us one of the most beautiful prayers of repentance in scripture, to bring glory to His name once again by showing the world His divine grace and seemingly unending mercies towards His creatures that would rebel against Him. Thank You, Lord.
This is what God laid on my heart that summer, in relation to my "re-employment". He did indeed want me to go back and be a valet - a service-industry job where I'd learn to serve others, where I would learn to view and treat other people as higher than myself, where I would cater to their needs in the simple role of parking their cars. No longer would I feel humanistic pride by flashing a business card and telling them what I did "for a living". I would get to meet, work with, and become good friends with people from all over the world with various religious backgrounds. Almost every religion, even every "Christian" denomination is represented in our company. It was in this role, that for 7 years, God wanted to shape me, teach me, and mold me into the leader -- the servant that He could use greatly in His kingdom. He wanted (and still wants) to change me into a person that He can trust to bear his image before men. I came back from Colorado, walked into my apartment, and took a phone call. The operations manager of the valet company my brother was working for was calling for him; I told him my brother wasn't home. He then asked me if I wanted to come be a valet.
So here's my confession. When God led me to this "servant's role", part of what He wanted me to do was to report all my tips, to the other valets (obviously, since we split tips -- well...at least most of us do), to the company office (even though they don't) and of course, to the IRS. While most other valets are honest with each other, many don't accurate report event info to the company office, and almost none report tips to the IRS. Like I said earlier, it's usually a part time job for most. The company certainly doesn't pass along the info on its W-2s, and the base-pay rate is high enough to keep everything looking on the up-and-up. I've actually only met two other valets (out of about 2000 in a 7-year span) that told me they kept track of all their tip money and reported it as additional revenue to the IRS each year. We were the "weirdos", but I still felt that this was something God had deliberately instructed to do, especially when I signed the "I certify all the above information is correct" on my 1040 each year. I always had. Until this year. How ironic this is about to get.
I've taken this year off so far, to try to do some writing about things God has laid on my heart, mostly just to clarify/hash out things God has laid on my heart about my life and life in general, to try to get a better perspective on what my life role may be in the context of God's eternal plan, while living on this temporal earth. I wanted to step back and get an view of my own life from an observer's perspective, which is one of the reasons I believe I was led to start putting things on paper. I felt this would help me categorize random thing that had been flowing around in my head over the past several years. I wanted to remove some time-consuming activities and concerns that were distracting me so I told the valet office I'd be out for a while, cashed out of the stock market, and bought a bus pass. My roommates both sold me on using "Turbo-tax" to do my taxes for the first time -- I agreed mainly just because I didn't want to do all the messy paperwork associated with 1040 -- I had bigger and better things to focus on. I didn't work a whole lot last year for the valet company, lost a good bit of money in the stock market by getting completely out (more on that later, maybe), and therefore was due to get back pretty much all (if not more) of the federal income tax that the company had withheld from my paychecks. I accurately entered all the info the program asked for, from the "amount in box A of W-2", to the "tips not reported to the employer" (I put 0, since I indeed had reported all my tips to the company, even though I knew they wouldn't pass it along) and the interest income. I left the "income from capital gains/stocks" section blank, even though I knew the IRS would receive 1099s, justifying it with the thought that since I'd taken losses, I'd actually had no income. I finished the easy session by confidently signing (via e-file) that everything was correct and honest, since, technically, on paper, it was. In the back of my mind I acknowledged that God had always led me to report all tip income to the IRS as a witness of His character to all my other valets and whoever else may be watching me, but I went ahead with the justification that I wasn't cheating/lying/stealing on my taxes, since if the IRS or anyone ever audited me for the year, I'd come out clean; the stock losses I took far outweighed the extra tips I didn't report, and I was probably actually owed more money than I got back using turbo-tax, since the reality was I'd actually over-reported my income because of this. Bring on the IRS I thought; the joke's on them if they actually audit me.
Many might argue that not being completely transparently honest on a turbo-tax form is not near as serious as adultery and murder, but as an image bearer of the King Himself, it is quite the same. People know me as a Christian - someone who is an ambassador of the message of the glory of God on this earth. I am robbing God of this glory by not bearing His image accurately before men and a watching world. Whether a thief steals $1,000,000,000.10 or only $1,000,000,000.05, the crime will still be reported as someone stealing a billion dollars; the extra pennies will seem irrelevant. Forgive me, Lord for I have sinned against You. Restore me to Yourself anew. Use me for Your purposes, that I would know You more. Do this regardless of the cost, but only in Your love and mercy. In Christ's name, Amen.
I'm still trying to figure out what all this means for me and for my life. I have felt that God has protected me from myself, from many sins I was tempted to do and even attempted to do, to bear witness of Him in some sort of public sphere before a watching church, a watching nation, and a watching world, or even a watching universe. I have yet to figure out how this will look. I've dabbled in politics but am convinced God desires to change the world through His church, not through political power or legislation. This perhaps comes across as boastful - like I think I'm somebody special, or have superb abilities to teach, speak, or write. I assure you this is not true. I'm fairly quiet and anti-social by nature; I prefer "alone" time much more than a big crowd. It's just that at this point, I can't figure out why God's hand of protection against "visible" or "researchable" sins in my life has been greater than I can properly explain; greater than that of many of my family and friends who certainly have lived more Christ-like lives than me, whose lives bear much more evidence of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. In terms of human evaluation in a public sphere, I could stand before men trying to dig up dirt on me and say "Do your worst!". I'm sure they will. Maybe, just maybe, God will allow me to read this confession to someone, so that His name, His glory, and the ever-unfolding story of His divine grace will be known to even more men. So help me God.
Roadtrips and Reunions: Somebody please tell me my life has meant something.
This past autumn, I took a fairly gratuitous road-trip to go visit the college where I graduated. I didn't really care much about going to the reunion or even seeing my college for that matter; I really just wanted to see some Arkansas fall foliage (we don't get much in Dallas), do some hiking and camping, and visit a friend. I needed a really good excuse to get me out of work on one of the busiest weekends of the year for the valet company that I work for, and a 15th college reunion seemed a little more saleable than telling them I wanted to go frolicking in the woods for a weekend. The trees were pretty, the lakes and streams cold, and visiting my old college roommate was enlightening (more on that later), but I got more out of the reunion than anything.
At most reunions, the basic format is you sign in, get your name tag with the year you graduated, eat sugary snacks, drink alcohol (punch if at a "Christian" college), and mix and mingle with your proud fellow alumni. At younger reunions there might be dancing; at older ones people may sit around and talk about who died. However, at every reunion I've ever been a part of, the crux of nearly every conversation you hear will be each and every person trying to convince their peers that they have done something worthy with their life - that they have been a success in whatever way their peer group defines success. At MIT, it may be what you've invented; at an Ivy League, what you've done in the political world; at SMU or any prep school, how much you've partied or who you've gotten to know; at Wofford they'll want to know how much money you've made. Yes, I know - these conversations happen everywhere, but at a college reunion they're at the forefront of every discussion because, in theory, college is the place that prepared us to "do life". Our lives scream out for relevance; supposedly, college has prepared us to make our lives relevant. Therefore, in our ongoing quest to validate ourselves amongst our fellow humans and peer groups, reunions - without intentionally trying to do so - create an environment where an overwhelming pressure exists to convince others that we've "done life" well. We have unknowingly created rooms full of people wearing clothes that no longer fit, fake hairpieces, and plastic smiles who spend intense, stressful hours walking around introducing old friends to their 2nd or 3rd wives or husbands, while trying to convince each other their lives have been successful - that their lives have meant something. As I sat there, I couldn't help but wonder if the truth of the situation was deeper than the obvious -- that, perhaps, everyone's real desire is to somehow convince our self that our own life has been a success; that we've done life well and that our life has had meaning. We seek this at reunions by trying to artificially manipulate respect and compliments out of our peers for so sort of self-validation; trying unsuccessfully to fill our heart's cry of "tell me my life has had worth... tell me my life has meant something."
None of this surprised me. I think I understand the human nature pretty well. In our fallen state -- separated from God because of sin -- humans (whether saved or unsaved) inherently know that there is something wrong, something not quite right with us -- and we run around trying to get others to confirm that we are indeed ok, to try to fill this void with some sort of confirmation from others that we are quite all right in our current state. We long for someone to speak some sort of validation into the life we've lived to make us feel like we were indeed worthy of living life. Donald Miller breaks this whole idea down in his book "Searching for God Knows What", which is probably the best psycho-analysis of the human nature that I've ever read. I think everyone ought to read it.
Usually, the whole re-union experience doesn't bother me much. Almost anyone that knows me (ok, probably everyone that knows me) will tell you I don't do the artificially-created social experiences well, but I usually try to suck it up and play the game as long as I can. However, I can only handle so many "party laughs" and superficial conversations before I cave in -- which usually manifests itself into me leaving the party (unsociable), me separating from the group to go off and be by myself (socially awkward), or me intentionally injecting something "real" into the conversation that makes everyone uncomfortable (extremely socially awkward). I figured I would get through this one though -- I'd done reunions before and came out just fine, and after all, these were my peeps. But this one bothered me.
You see, I went to a college that would proudly advertise itself as the most Christiany of colleges: an extremely conservative, Church-of-Christer, wifer-for-lifer institution where everyone votes Republican and flies the American flag in front of their house. A bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. There are many other colleges just like it with many different denominational ties that all advertise they are preparing their students for "God's kingdom". I met many nice people that night, and almost all of them wanted to tell me about their careers or professions, their families, and where they were staying in town for the weekend - which is very important in a small town where the university runs a top-notch hotel. The beauty of these encounters was that for perhaps the first time in my life, I didn't succumb to my usual act of frustratingly forcing uncomfortable topics into artificial conversations to create a socially awkward situation. I didn't have to. I simply answered their questions.
alumni: "What do you do?"
me: "You mean for employment?"
alumni: "um.. yeah"
me: "I'm a valet - I park cars for a living." Awkward pause. (Loser)
alumni: "um... oh, did you bring your family with you?"
me: "I'm single, 37, and never been married, I don't have family to bring." Another awkward pause (Real Loser)
alumni: "Oh! Well, there's nothing wrong with that! Plenty of our friends waited until their 30s to get married! There's still hope!" (party laugh)
Usually, the line of questioning broke here to some even more superficial banter, so most unfortunately, people usually didn't get to #3:
alumni: "Where are you staying for the weekend?"
me: "I'm sleeping in the back of my pick-up out in the parking lot behind the gym. I got a topper on back with tinted windows, and picked up two layers of shag carpet padding by dumpster-diving at a carpet outlet place, so I'm living pretty large this weekend!"
All this sounds funny, but it made me sad. I was sad because I pondered if living a good Christian life, if "doing life well" in the average Christian's eyes, has reached the point where we're labeled a success as long as we've nailed down a good job, raised a healthy family, and maybe gotten involved in a local church. We've basically defined a successful life in the same way our society has because it's easy, comfortable, and can be done on our own -- outside of an active, daily, loving relationship with the God of the universe. We're "practicing our religion" like crazy, but seem to have very little intimacy with the One we claim to worship. We love to have Him as a happy little add-on to our comfortable lives, but keep Him at arm's length away, because we realize how terrifying it might be for Him to be our all-consuming passion. In two hours of re-unioning at a renown "Christian" college, I was not once asked about my relationship with God, how I desire to love and serve Him, what that looks like for my life, or how I was going about making His love known to others. When we eventually reunion with God, there will be a party and a great banquet, and we won't have to try to force comments out of Him to make us feel like our lives meant something or that we "did life well". He'll be pretty honest, I think. Hopefully, we'll all receive "Well done, My good and faithful servant. Enter into your Master's rest." Somebody tell me my life means something....
At most reunions, the basic format is you sign in, get your name tag with the year you graduated, eat sugary snacks, drink alcohol (punch if at a "Christian" college), and mix and mingle with your proud fellow alumni. At younger reunions there might be dancing; at older ones people may sit around and talk about who died. However, at every reunion I've ever been a part of, the crux of nearly every conversation you hear will be each and every person trying to convince their peers that they have done something worthy with their life - that they have been a success in whatever way their peer group defines success. At MIT, it may be what you've invented; at an Ivy League, what you've done in the political world; at SMU or any prep school, how much you've partied or who you've gotten to know; at Wofford they'll want to know how much money you've made. Yes, I know - these conversations happen everywhere, but at a college reunion they're at the forefront of every discussion because, in theory, college is the place that prepared us to "do life". Our lives scream out for relevance; supposedly, college has prepared us to make our lives relevant. Therefore, in our ongoing quest to validate ourselves amongst our fellow humans and peer groups, reunions - without intentionally trying to do so - create an environment where an overwhelming pressure exists to convince others that we've "done life" well. We have unknowingly created rooms full of people wearing clothes that no longer fit, fake hairpieces, and plastic smiles who spend intense, stressful hours walking around introducing old friends to their 2nd or 3rd wives or husbands, while trying to convince each other their lives have been successful - that their lives have meant something. As I sat there, I couldn't help but wonder if the truth of the situation was deeper than the obvious -- that, perhaps, everyone's real desire is to somehow convince our self that our own life has been a success; that we've done life well and that our life has had meaning. We seek this at reunions by trying to artificially manipulate respect and compliments out of our peers for so sort of self-validation; trying unsuccessfully to fill our heart's cry of "tell me my life has had worth... tell me my life has meant something."
None of this surprised me. I think I understand the human nature pretty well. In our fallen state -- separated from God because of sin -- humans (whether saved or unsaved) inherently know that there is something wrong, something not quite right with us -- and we run around trying to get others to confirm that we are indeed ok, to try to fill this void with some sort of confirmation from others that we are quite all right in our current state. We long for someone to speak some sort of validation into the life we've lived to make us feel like we were indeed worthy of living life. Donald Miller breaks this whole idea down in his book "Searching for God Knows What", which is probably the best psycho-analysis of the human nature that I've ever read. I think everyone ought to read it.
Usually, the whole re-union experience doesn't bother me much. Almost anyone that knows me (ok, probably everyone that knows me) will tell you I don't do the artificially-created social experiences well, but I usually try to suck it up and play the game as long as I can. However, I can only handle so many "party laughs" and superficial conversations before I cave in -- which usually manifests itself into me leaving the party (unsociable), me separating from the group to go off and be by myself (socially awkward), or me intentionally injecting something "real" into the conversation that makes everyone uncomfortable (extremely socially awkward). I figured I would get through this one though -- I'd done reunions before and came out just fine, and after all, these were my peeps. But this one bothered me.
You see, I went to a college that would proudly advertise itself as the most Christiany of colleges: an extremely conservative, Church-of-Christer, wifer-for-lifer institution where everyone votes Republican and flies the American flag in front of their house. A bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. There are many other colleges just like it with many different denominational ties that all advertise they are preparing their students for "God's kingdom". I met many nice people that night, and almost all of them wanted to tell me about their careers or professions, their families, and where they were staying in town for the weekend - which is very important in a small town where the university runs a top-notch hotel. The beauty of these encounters was that for perhaps the first time in my life, I didn't succumb to my usual act of frustratingly forcing uncomfortable topics into artificial conversations to create a socially awkward situation. I didn't have to. I simply answered their questions.
alumni: "What do you do?"
me: "You mean for employment?"
alumni: "um.. yeah"
me: "I'm a valet - I park cars for a living." Awkward pause. (Loser)
alumni: "um... oh, did you bring your family with you?"
me: "I'm single, 37, and never been married, I don't have family to bring." Another awkward pause (Real Loser)
alumni: "Oh! Well, there's nothing wrong with that! Plenty of our friends waited until their 30s to get married! There's still hope!" (party laugh)
Usually, the line of questioning broke here to some even more superficial banter, so most unfortunately, people usually didn't get to #3:
alumni: "Where are you staying for the weekend?"
me: "I'm sleeping in the back of my pick-up out in the parking lot behind the gym. I got a topper on back with tinted windows, and picked up two layers of shag carpet padding by dumpster-diving at a carpet outlet place, so I'm living pretty large this weekend!"
All this sounds funny, but it made me sad. I was sad because I pondered if living a good Christian life, if "doing life well" in the average Christian's eyes, has reached the point where we're labeled a success as long as we've nailed down a good job, raised a healthy family, and maybe gotten involved in a local church. We've basically defined a successful life in the same way our society has because it's easy, comfortable, and can be done on our own -- outside of an active, daily, loving relationship with the God of the universe. We're "practicing our religion" like crazy, but seem to have very little intimacy with the One we claim to worship. We love to have Him as a happy little add-on to our comfortable lives, but keep Him at arm's length away, because we realize how terrifying it might be for Him to be our all-consuming passion. In two hours of re-unioning at a renown "Christian" college, I was not once asked about my relationship with God, how I desire to love and serve Him, what that looks like for my life, or how I was going about making His love known to others. When we eventually reunion with God, there will be a party and a great banquet, and we won't have to try to force comments out of Him to make us feel like our lives meant something or that we "did life well". He'll be pretty honest, I think. Hopefully, we'll all receive "Well done, My good and faithful servant. Enter into your Master's rest." Somebody tell me my life means something....
An Eternal Perspective: All things for the glory of God.
It was the spring of 2003. I had walked away from my "career" as a retail manager for the Sherwin-Williams Co. on my 30th birthday, frustrated and angry with life. On paper, I was doing life quite well by society's standards -- I was having a lot of fun, playing a lot of sports, hanging out with lots of friends, traveling the world -- pretty much doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I had an extremely cushy, well-paying position at a Fortune 200 company; I was enjoying my job more than I ever had around the time I quit. But I was dying inside. I had become bored with life; it seemed like I was made for so much more (cue the Switchfoot song). This world didn't seem like it had much to offer me. I had experienced success in almost every way the world defines it and was left wanting deeply. I had been raised in church, taken Bible classes in college, and had a pretty decent theological knowledge of the Christian faith; the only thing that made sense to me was that I didn't really understand what it meant to live the kind of life that an Almighty Creator intended for me to live while on this earth. I wanted God to show me what that looked like; I wanted to know that I was part of something bigger than the ideal our society had given me for "a good Christian life". I prayed to know Him and His ways more; I needed an eternal perspective of what life on this earth was all about.
God took me to the Colorado mountains for the summer. I pitched a tent in the western San Juan range, just outside a little town called Ouray, and spent about 4 months reading my Bible cover to cover, including all the commentaries, all the "secular" history as it related to stories in the Bible, and studying every time line and chronological account I could find that related to world history in the context of a Biblical narrative. It was a beautiful time of learning, prayer, and worship everyday; I think God needs to take us out of the world for a while to get the world out of us. I never really enjoyed extensive Bible reading before. I had always felt it was a chore; a discipline even. But most afternoons, after hanging out in the little town, soaking in the hot springs, and playing with the local kids, I could barely.wait to get back to the mountains and begin reading my Bible again. God was giving me an eternal perspective.
I think we often cheapen Christianity by humanizing it. I mean, I know we're humans; that Christ was human; that He died and was resurrected to pay for the sins of humanity; and that humans can live eternally in heaven with Him if we repent of our sins and accept Him as our savior -- these are all the basic precepts of the "religion" that almost every "Christian" denomination agrees on. The problem is that we put these beliefs, principles, and practices in a box, trying to create a story that we can understand, trying to break it down in a way that we can study it as theological knowledge, trying to create check-lists from it that we can give self-evaluations (and judge others too!) to see how we're doing in our "walk with God". We want (desperately) to understand God, so we try to break Him down to the point where we can understand Him as He relates to us and our world, as if we are the main thing/event happening in this great unfolding cosmic story. Such a view, I believe, is complete arrogance on our part. We think way too highly of ourselves.
The general Christian "story", if you will, is that God created the heavens and the earth, that He made man as a caretaker of the earth, that man was deceived by the devil and sinned against God; thus, sin entered the human race and God had to come rescue humanity by sending His one and only son, Jesus Christ, to die for their sins so that they could eventually be re-united with God by accepting His sacrifice for their sins. The world will continue to spin out of control until Christ returns again, re-unites with all His followers and kicks some serious tail which results, eventually, in Satan and all his minions being thrown into an eternal lake of fire and suffering for all eternity. We, as Christ's followers, will then celebrate with Him for the rest of eternity in Heaven. Done and DONE.
The problem with this is that we fail to truly recognize the eternal and omnipotent nature of God. What was He doing before He made earth? Made humanity? We have some knowledge of an "angelic conflict", but other than that, we don't have much. God is usually pretty active; so much so, that He makes a pretty big deal about the day He rested after creating our earthly world. So much so, in fact, that the penalty for not resting on the Sabbath by the Israelites was death, because they failed to in essence, bear the image of God. Therefore, I have trouble believing God was just hanging out, basically doing nothing before creating earth -- eternity is a long time, and for a Being whose general nature is to create and love, this would seem to be a long time to not be creating, or loving by sharing Himself and His glory with created beings. Because of this, I think we (humans) and our little earthly plot are a mere blip, a short little chapter, if you will, of a great cosmic novel that will never end. God is writing an epic adventure that we are fortunate enough to be a part of; the alternative would be to never have been created (for some this would be better). Did God know man would sin, would turn against Him -- in essence try to overthrow His authority over them as Satan did? If you believe in the omnipotent nature of God, the answer is clearly yes. God doesn't make mistakes. Therefore, I would argue God created man for the very PURPOSE of sin. Pharaoh was raised up "for this very purpose", and Christ was foreordained to be slain "before the foundation of the world". Romans 11:32 tells us that "God has bound all men over to disobedience so that He may have mercy on them all". This was always our Creator's plan. For this very purpose God created man (Adam) so that He could eventually show His love and His glory to ALL heaven and earth by becoming one of the seemingly piddly little rebellious creates that turned against Him, allowing them to brutally kill and mock Him so that He could redeem them to Himself. Try wrapping your mind around that sometime. I think as all the rest of the cosmos watched on, there were angelic jaws dropping in astonishment, not able to comprehend, trying to understand how and why a Being that was so much greater than them would become like a creature so much less than them, then allow other such creatures to kill Him as to redeem them; to bring them back into a relationship with Himself, so that they might experience His glory once again. God used/uses our sin to demonstrate the wonder and beauty of His grace.
Allow me here to perhaps become a heretic in the eyes of others. Are there other worlds/planets/universes we're not of aware of? Probably. Other beings? Most certainly. Will there be more? I think most definitely. Once our little world ends, and all we Christians get to heaven, I don't think God will just say "My work is done" and just hang-out with us for the rest of eternity. I believe He will always be creating, always be loving, always be sharing His glory more and more with all the beings He keeps creating. The most unselfish thing someone who is perfect could do is to share Himself and His nature with others- He gives us a little bit of Himself; therefore making us His image bearers. As imperfect beings, though, we really screw this up because in our imperfect state we can't handle it; we like the angels inherently want to use it to become ourselves God, claiming authority over our own lives and all that is around us. We denounce what we know to be true and desire to become the authority of our own lives. I think, like the angels in our little story, we will probably get to play active parts in other future stories that He writes, maybe interacting with other beings in other stories that are even lower than us- beings that, like us, will rebel against their Creator and have not yet been redeemed by their Creator in a way that will astonish us, even in a redeemed state where we are living with our Creator. God help us all.
In the meantime, He continues to write a story. It's a beautiful story; a love story. A real page-turner that even the angels in Heaven can't put down. It's filled with romance, suspense, intrigue; it has protagonists and antagonists. There are wars, acts of bravery, victories against "impossible" odds. There are improbable heroes. All of this culminates in a grand battle of good versus evil, where good wins out and evil as WE know it is defeated permanently. But this is one small chapter. Eternity is a long time, and He will never stop writing/creating/loving/revealing /sharing His glory. He's taking applications. Do you want to be a part? The role you play will depend on how willing you are to follow the Director's commands. You are in the story whether you like it or not. You can be a central character, or supporting actor, or you can just be an "extra". You will be on the side of good or evil -- you will play a part regardless; you will either win or lose. We are simply, yet beautifully, part of a great plot -a great story that others will read and watch, and be in awe of the Author. He is writing a story about Himself - an autobiography if you will - so that His audience, all of His creation, will know all about Him ...and because He is so utterly, completely, unimaginably OTHER, the story will never end -- we will never fully comprehend who He is. It has and is and will be the greatest story ever told. Let's read on. Father, show us Your glory. In Christ's name, Amen.
God took me to the Colorado mountains for the summer. I pitched a tent in the western San Juan range, just outside a little town called Ouray, and spent about 4 months reading my Bible cover to cover, including all the commentaries, all the "secular" history as it related to stories in the Bible, and studying every time line and chronological account I could find that related to world history in the context of a Biblical narrative. It was a beautiful time of learning, prayer, and worship everyday; I think God needs to take us out of the world for a while to get the world out of us. I never really enjoyed extensive Bible reading before. I had always felt it was a chore; a discipline even. But most afternoons, after hanging out in the little town, soaking in the hot springs, and playing with the local kids, I could barely.wait to get back to the mountains and begin reading my Bible again. God was giving me an eternal perspective.
I think we often cheapen Christianity by humanizing it. I mean, I know we're humans; that Christ was human; that He died and was resurrected to pay for the sins of humanity; and that humans can live eternally in heaven with Him if we repent of our sins and accept Him as our savior -- these are all the basic precepts of the "religion" that almost every "Christian" denomination agrees on. The problem is that we put these beliefs, principles, and practices in a box, trying to create a story that we can understand, trying to break it down in a way that we can study it as theological knowledge, trying to create check-lists from it that we can give self-evaluations (and judge others too!) to see how we're doing in our "walk with God". We want (desperately) to understand God, so we try to break Him down to the point where we can understand Him as He relates to us and our world, as if we are the main thing/event happening in this great unfolding cosmic story. Such a view, I believe, is complete arrogance on our part. We think way too highly of ourselves.
The general Christian "story", if you will, is that God created the heavens and the earth, that He made man as a caretaker of the earth, that man was deceived by the devil and sinned against God; thus, sin entered the human race and God had to come rescue humanity by sending His one and only son, Jesus Christ, to die for their sins so that they could eventually be re-united with God by accepting His sacrifice for their sins. The world will continue to spin out of control until Christ returns again, re-unites with all His followers and kicks some serious tail which results, eventually, in Satan and all his minions being thrown into an eternal lake of fire and suffering for all eternity. We, as Christ's followers, will then celebrate with Him for the rest of eternity in Heaven. Done and DONE.
The problem with this is that we fail to truly recognize the eternal and omnipotent nature of God. What was He doing before He made earth? Made humanity? We have some knowledge of an "angelic conflict", but other than that, we don't have much. God is usually pretty active; so much so, that He makes a pretty big deal about the day He rested after creating our earthly world. So much so, in fact, that the penalty for not resting on the Sabbath by the Israelites was death, because they failed to in essence, bear the image of God. Therefore, I have trouble believing God was just hanging out, basically doing nothing before creating earth -- eternity is a long time, and for a Being whose general nature is to create and love, this would seem to be a long time to not be creating, or loving by sharing Himself and His glory with created beings. Because of this, I think we (humans) and our little earthly plot are a mere blip, a short little chapter, if you will, of a great cosmic novel that will never end. God is writing an epic adventure that we are fortunate enough to be a part of; the alternative would be to never have been created (for some this would be better). Did God know man would sin, would turn against Him -- in essence try to overthrow His authority over them as Satan did? If you believe in the omnipotent nature of God, the answer is clearly yes. God doesn't make mistakes. Therefore, I would argue God created man for the very PURPOSE of sin. Pharaoh was raised up "for this very purpose", and Christ was foreordained to be slain "before the foundation of the world". Romans 11:32 tells us that "God has bound all men over to disobedience so that He may have mercy on them all". This was always our Creator's plan. For this very purpose God created man (Adam) so that He could eventually show His love and His glory to ALL heaven and earth by becoming one of the seemingly piddly little rebellious creates that turned against Him, allowing them to brutally kill and mock Him so that He could redeem them to Himself. Try wrapping your mind around that sometime. I think as all the rest of the cosmos watched on, there were angelic jaws dropping in astonishment, not able to comprehend, trying to understand how and why a Being that was so much greater than them would become like a creature so much less than them, then allow other such creatures to kill Him as to redeem them; to bring them back into a relationship with Himself, so that they might experience His glory once again. God used/uses our sin to demonstrate the wonder and beauty of His grace.
Allow me here to perhaps become a heretic in the eyes of others. Are there other worlds/planets/universes we're not of aware of? Probably. Other beings? Most certainly. Will there be more? I think most definitely. Once our little world ends, and all we Christians get to heaven, I don't think God will just say "My work is done" and just hang-out with us for the rest of eternity. I believe He will always be creating, always be loving, always be sharing His glory more and more with all the beings He keeps creating. The most unselfish thing someone who is perfect could do is to share Himself and His nature with others- He gives us a little bit of Himself; therefore making us His image bearers. As imperfect beings, though, we really screw this up because in our imperfect state we can't handle it; we like the angels inherently want to use it to become ourselves God, claiming authority over our own lives and all that is around us. We denounce what we know to be true and desire to become the authority of our own lives. I think, like the angels in our little story, we will probably get to play active parts in other future stories that He writes, maybe interacting with other beings in other stories that are even lower than us- beings that, like us, will rebel against their Creator and have not yet been redeemed by their Creator in a way that will astonish us, even in a redeemed state where we are living with our Creator. God help us all.
In the meantime, He continues to write a story. It's a beautiful story; a love story. A real page-turner that even the angels in Heaven can't put down. It's filled with romance, suspense, intrigue; it has protagonists and antagonists. There are wars, acts of bravery, victories against "impossible" odds. There are improbable heroes. All of this culminates in a grand battle of good versus evil, where good wins out and evil as WE know it is defeated permanently. But this is one small chapter. Eternity is a long time, and He will never stop writing/creating/loving/revealing /sharing His glory. He's taking applications. Do you want to be a part? The role you play will depend on how willing you are to follow the Director's commands. You are in the story whether you like it or not. You can be a central character, or supporting actor, or you can just be an "extra". You will be on the side of good or evil -- you will play a part regardless; you will either win or lose. We are simply, yet beautifully, part of a great plot -a great story that others will read and watch, and be in awe of the Author. He is writing a story about Himself - an autobiography if you will - so that His audience, all of His creation, will know all about Him ...and because He is so utterly, completely, unimaginably OTHER, the story will never end -- we will never fully comprehend who He is. It has and is and will be the greatest story ever told. Let's read on. Father, show us Your glory. In Christ's name, Amen.
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