Let me begin this blog with a disclaimer: I do not have any children nor do I play a regular or daily part in raising any children. The only times I've ever claimed any sort of fatherhood over anyone are in the (increasingly rare) occasions I'm able to assert any sort of dominance over friends during an athletic endeavor and feel led to ask them "Who's your daddy?" - obviously, and most obnoxiously, inferring that the proper answer is myself. Therefore, I understand that everything I am about to write can be criticized from the perspective that I'm not a realist, that I don't understand the challenges of child rearing, or that I don't have proper understanding of how a parent would feel towards their child. I can understand all that, but I still have long desired to write about what I view as one of the gravest weaknesses in the church - our PERSPECTIVE in how we, as Christians, should raise our kids. My observations are based generally on how I was raised, and how I see many Christian friends attempting to raise their children. If you are reading this, and do not claim the Christian faith, this blog is really not meant for you... but you can read it anyway.
Mom and Dad, if you ever read this, I assure you it is not meant to be a complaint/critique on your parenting abilities or how I was raised. I truly believe you both did the best you could given your own upbringings, and the influence of our nation's "Christian" culture in which you lived. I believe God truly gave me two parents with the qualities that you have, to raise me in a way that would help form me into the person I would grow in to, in order to use me for the purposes He had intended. As I get older, I am more appreciative of who you are as my parents, and in the way you actively poured into my life growing up (and even now), especially during the times I was hard-headed, rebellious, and refused to listen. From Dad I had modeled to me an incredible work ethic and self discipline, and learned almost every practical life skill imaginable - including organizational skills, leadership, managing money, and making a point to always do what was right. From Mom I learned was it was like to nurture someone, and had modeled to me the closest example of a perfect, selfless, Christ-like love I'll probably ever see this side of eternity. Whenever I'm asked about you two as parents, I love telling people you are the greatest "set" of parents a kid could ever dream of or wish for. I thank God that, for whatever reason, He chose you two to be my earthly parents.
Sadly, somewhere along the lines of history, the American church has changed Christianity into a safe "religion" that basically tells people what not to do. In our churches and homes we've focused on the "thou shalt nots" instead of the "goes" and "dos" of what it means to live a life that honors God and promotes His kingdom. We selfishly want our kids to live safe, comfortable lives - so we coach them up on how to stay out of trouble, be financially successful, acquire possessions, and win the respect of their peers and ourselves as parents - basically encouraging them to "tip-toe through life so they can arrive safely at death". We've taught them to create their own kingdoms, if you will, by revamping the entire Christian gospel into a religion of rules which teach them to be successful within the existing parameters of the society that they live in (while behaving ok in the process), instead of encouraging them to change society. If we've learned anything, it's that a religion of rules is never sustainable - our churches in America are filled with millions of kids who know their "wrongs" from their rights, but do them all anyway. We've bored an entire generation of kids into sex, drugs, drinking, and materialism because we haven't given them any more exciting options.
**** A real quick proof to anyone raised in a Christian home: In what context were you taught the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"? I'm pretty confident it was in the context of keeping you FROM doing something. (don't hit your sister, take your little brother's toys, etc) We've re-translated this verse to "Don't do something bad you wouldn't want someone else to do to you". I find it interesting that in the parable of the rich man and Lazurus (Luke 16: 19-31) we're never given any evidence of "bad" behavior of the rich man who ended up in hell - his only "crime" was in not doing good, or simply ignoring those who needed help around him in the society that he lived in.****
Kids don't want to taught to be "good". They want to be great. They want to be heroes, warriors, and princesses - people who change the world and have books written about them. They want to be part of a cause greater than themselves - identifying with movements of like-minded people that produce epic results, changing the society that they live in. They want to be heroic and daring, they want to feel value, they want to affect the universe they live in. By re-creating Christianity into a religion of don'ts, we've (the American church) squelched this inherent desire in our kids to be great, to change society, to live their lives for an "epic" cause - and turned them away from the most dramatic battle that exists - the cause of Christ. So instead we get war protestors, Occupy protestors, anti-tuition raising protestors, G-20 protesters, animal activists, peace activists, WOOFers, and "bank transfer" days, all started by kids who desperately want to do or be part of a cause that makes them feel that they have done something good with their lives ....all wanting to "save the world" perhaps, but doing it apart from the call of Christ. We (the church) have driven kids from the true gospel and created an entire generation of secular humanists who are running around desperately trying to make a difference in their world in an attempt to help others by fighting against social injustices, speaking out against racism, providing for the hungry, and promoting unity and world peace... all, perhaps, "holding to a form of godliness but denying the power thereof."
"Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Often lost in this verse is the obvious analogy that children are arrows (read: weapons) to be used for the kingdom of Christ. As parents, they're given to you to be sharpened and shot out, not polished and put back in the quiver to make them (or yourself) look good. It is our job as parents to release them as weapons of light all over the world in a battle that is more grand, more epic, than any kid can even imagine. The parents of the generation of "kids" currently running our churches, businesses, and governments are reaping what they've sown. They've taught their kids to live safe and comfortable lives, looking out for themselves and their families, while complacently letting society go to hell around them while they've stayed out of trouble. Our goal as parents should not be to keep our kids out of trouble, but to teach them HOW to embrace it and work and walk through it. There's an old adage that says "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time."
Step aside and evaluate your own parenting: Are your kids reaching out...do they live for others? Do they befriend the lonely? Do they share what they have? Do they recognize injustice and untruths and physical needs at their schools or jobs and attempt to do something about it? Are they willing to risk the disapproval of other kids (and yours) to do what they believe is right? If we are relating to them in a way that causes them to seek their peer's approval or our own (as parents), then we are not relating to them as we should. DO speak validation into their lives, but make sure they know that you're not the end game. Your approval of them will mean very little in the context of eternity. Your job is to point them to their real Father, and to teach and model to them a life that shows them the joy, wonder, and worth of the call of Christ.
God had an earthly Son too. By our general Christian standards today, God (the Father) would have been the worst parent in the world. His son didn't go to college. He never held a high-profile job or made lots of money. He frequently attended parties and drank. He spent his adulthood as a poor, homeless wanderer. He consorted with the worst of society, even becoming close with many women of questionable repute. He was constantly in trouble with the authorities. He never tried to "fit in", but was always sought after by throngs of both friends and foes. He died the most horrible, painful, cruel death imaginable in His day. But his life was epic, not boring. He confronted those in authority, publically lambasted all society's injustices, attacked the established religion of His day, was frequently on the lam from the law, faced multiple death threats, and was constantly in the public eye. By the time He died, he had pretty much taken head-on every single establishment and ideal of His day. He died at 33, but He changed the world, by living (and dying) more "epically" than anyone who had ever walked the planet. He knew who His Daddy was.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Saturday, August 11, 2012
An Inexplicable Unseen Force: The Reality of Christ as God
"One of the greatest proofs of a supernatural reality is that we can even ponder one." -CS Lewis
I grew up in a tennis playing family. Both of my parents were decent country club players and began encouraging my brother, sister and I to play at a small age. Even as we switched schools and moved around the country, the sport remained a constant part of life during most of our childhoods. We all played in high school and at three different small colleges at the NAIA level. As a little kid and even in high school I had big dreams of being a superstar someday, playing for a NCAA school, playing on the ATP tour and even beating Boris Becker one day. However, it only took a brief foray into the world of top-level collegiate tennis to realize that this would never even be a remote possibility for me, namely due to a gross lack of talent and athleticism, amongst many other things. I don't play anymore but do look back fondly on the large part of my life it played - mainly the many friends I made through it as well as the life adventures it provided me. I got to travel around the country while playing a collegiate sport and also developed certain athletic skills that have proved useful in many other athletic endeavors. I still hack it up at family get-togethers with my folks (who have their own court and still play) about once a year, but that's about it these days. I'm pretty sure my mom beat me the last time we played.
Throughout high school I was in a week-to-week battle with one other guy for the #1 spot on the team, during the intermittent times that he was able to remain academically eligible. Admittedly, he was probably a better player than me, certainly had a much "bigger" game, and ended up doing way more with his tennis career than I ever did. But I usually could get in his head and therefore beat him almost every time I played him. So even though I was the official #1 on the De Soto High School ladder, both my coaches and I usually mutually agreed to let him play the top spot against other schools, especially if they had a top ranked-player, knowing he'd have a better chance of beating them than I would.
The other guy's name was Michael and I've lost track of him over the years and have no idea where he's at now. He indeed had a big game and often an even bigger on court John Mcenroe -esque temper. He was often prone to profanity laced outbursts directed at everyone from his opponents (including me), his doubles partners, coaches, fans, watching parents, and pretty much whoever happened to be in the vicinity at the time. Like Mcenroe himself, the level of his game usually increased with his volume, which kept watching coaches and fans from being to hard on him, until a coach challenged him that if he felt the need to include someone else's name in his outbursts, he should probably choose someone other than Jesus Christ. He took the challenge to heart, and eventually settled on Rock Hudson - I think because at the time it had just been revealed that Hudson was gay and was dying of AIDS. For Mike, it seemed like a good name to "blaspheme" at the time. Over his last two years of high school tennis, he became known throughout our entire district as the "Rock Hudson guy", because his many profanity laced outbursts became laced with "Rock Hudsons" in every vulgar way you could imagine. Even while playing on another court, I could usually tell his match success based on the number of "Rock Hudsons" flying around. It became so entertainingly silly for many, that even our greatest rivals would look forward to watching and playing against us, just for the comical value of watching the "Rock Hudson guy" alone.
All this sounds silly, right? Throwing some guy's name around in ways to express frustration and anger? The next time you feel such need, give it a good old "Confucius", or "Gandhi " or "prophet Mohammed" or even a "Buddha damnit" and see if it does anything for you. You'll probably feel silly after you've said it, and everyone around you will think it's weird or even comical. There's just something powerful that gives you that satisfying feeling of "oomph" after saying the name of Jesus Christ in anger ....or some sort of inexplicable fearfulness or embarrassment when using it in a good way, or when advertising anything in a positive way that relates to Him.
Try this experiment for yourself: Grab a big overtly - labeled Holy Bible and walk around downtown Dallas (or anywhere) and see if you don't feel overly conscious about it, especially if you bump into non-Christian friends. It's just a book, right? Turn on some praise and worship music at your next office party and see how you feel - it's just music right? It's more comfortable to hear lyrics about murder, death, sorrow, broken relationships, or about anything else other than about the person of Jesus Christ. Start casual conversations, even just in a completely historical context about the person of Jesus Christ and see if it doesn't shut everyone up or get them upset or make them uncomfortable. Try the same with Confucius, Buddha, Mohammed, Brahma, the Bab, Joseph Smith, or even Adolf Hitler and no one really cares. The truth is, there is an objective reality going on outside of ourselves that is more powerful than we are and has a greater influence on the outcome of our actions than we do. I think the thought of this for non-Christians must be scary, so absolutely terrifying, that it must be (at the least) kept at bay by trying to ignore it, or at worst, attacking against this reality that they inherently know, that they can FEEL is there and represents some sort of truth. The same gay-rights activists who angerly protest, boycott and organize "kiss-ins" at Chick-Fila restaurants because the owner says he supports "the Biblical view of marriage" will never bother to boycott or protest against Shell or Exxon gas stations whose oil is owned, drilled, and sold by Saudi Arabian Islamasists who say (and actively support) that homosexuality should be punished by death.....because the reality is that there is no real power, no unseen force behind the accusation that homosexuality is wrong from an Islamic stance, but an incredible conviction brought on by the inferred accusation that homosexual marraige would be "unbiblical."
The second we force ourselves to acknowledge all this is the second we realize we ultimately can't adequately explain our lives or have control over our own existence, acknowledging that we ultimately belong or are ultimately in submission to the whims and power and desires of something, or even Someone else. The problem for non-Christians, I believe, is not unbelief but intentional disbelief in a reality that they know... they can FEEL is true. They can't convince their own hearts of the anti-truths they want to believe, anti-truths that keep them in comfortable control of their own lives and destinies ...so they try to distract themselves with enough activities or thoughts or chemicals to remain happy enough to exist in their own self-created delusion. They reject what they know in their hearts to be true and attempt to create a new reality in which they have authority over their own existence, and attempt to live it out in a way that validates their new reality they've created. An attempt at intentional self-deceit, if you will, but the problem still remains that the alternate reality that they refuse to believe is indeed an OBJECTIVE one that is real, and is much more powerful than any existence they can attempt to create for themselves, because the truth is, the Creator and Director of the reality we cannot see is also the Creator and the Director of the one we can see. His name is Jesus Christ, and even as you read all this, I'm pretty sure you're feeling and thinking things (anger, resistance, fear, disgust, conviction... love?), beyond anything you can explain in a purely physical or natural sense, or beyond what you normally should be when reading any oped or blog or commentary, even if it was one that you disagreed with greatly. These are just words on a page, right?
I grew up in a tennis playing family. Both of my parents were decent country club players and began encouraging my brother, sister and I to play at a small age. Even as we switched schools and moved around the country, the sport remained a constant part of life during most of our childhoods. We all played in high school and at three different small colleges at the NAIA level. As a little kid and even in high school I had big dreams of being a superstar someday, playing for a NCAA school, playing on the ATP tour and even beating Boris Becker one day. However, it only took a brief foray into the world of top-level collegiate tennis to realize that this would never even be a remote possibility for me, namely due to a gross lack of talent and athleticism, amongst many other things. I don't play anymore but do look back fondly on the large part of my life it played - mainly the many friends I made through it as well as the life adventures it provided me. I got to travel around the country while playing a collegiate sport and also developed certain athletic skills that have proved useful in many other athletic endeavors. I still hack it up at family get-togethers with my folks (who have their own court and still play) about once a year, but that's about it these days. I'm pretty sure my mom beat me the last time we played.
Throughout high school I was in a week-to-week battle with one other guy for the #1 spot on the team, during the intermittent times that he was able to remain academically eligible. Admittedly, he was probably a better player than me, certainly had a much "bigger" game, and ended up doing way more with his tennis career than I ever did. But I usually could get in his head and therefore beat him almost every time I played him. So even though I was the official #1 on the De Soto High School ladder, both my coaches and I usually mutually agreed to let him play the top spot against other schools, especially if they had a top ranked-player, knowing he'd have a better chance of beating them than I would.
The other guy's name was Michael and I've lost track of him over the years and have no idea where he's at now. He indeed had a big game and often an even bigger on court John Mcenroe -esque temper. He was often prone to profanity laced outbursts directed at everyone from his opponents (including me), his doubles partners, coaches, fans, watching parents, and pretty much whoever happened to be in the vicinity at the time. Like Mcenroe himself, the level of his game usually increased with his volume, which kept watching coaches and fans from being to hard on him, until a coach challenged him that if he felt the need to include someone else's name in his outbursts, he should probably choose someone other than Jesus Christ. He took the challenge to heart, and eventually settled on Rock Hudson - I think because at the time it had just been revealed that Hudson was gay and was dying of AIDS. For Mike, it seemed like a good name to "blaspheme" at the time. Over his last two years of high school tennis, he became known throughout our entire district as the "Rock Hudson guy", because his many profanity laced outbursts became laced with "Rock Hudsons" in every vulgar way you could imagine. Even while playing on another court, I could usually tell his match success based on the number of "Rock Hudsons" flying around. It became so entertainingly silly for many, that even our greatest rivals would look forward to watching and playing against us, just for the comical value of watching the "Rock Hudson guy" alone.
All this sounds silly, right? Throwing some guy's name around in ways to express frustration and anger? The next time you feel such need, give it a good old "Confucius", or "Gandhi " or "prophet Mohammed" or even a "Buddha damnit" and see if it does anything for you. You'll probably feel silly after you've said it, and everyone around you will think it's weird or even comical. There's just something powerful that gives you that satisfying feeling of "oomph" after saying the name of Jesus Christ in anger ....or some sort of inexplicable fearfulness or embarrassment when using it in a good way, or when advertising anything in a positive way that relates to Him.
Try this experiment for yourself: Grab a big overtly - labeled Holy Bible and walk around downtown Dallas (or anywhere) and see if you don't feel overly conscious about it, especially if you bump into non-Christian friends. It's just a book, right? Turn on some praise and worship music at your next office party and see how you feel - it's just music right? It's more comfortable to hear lyrics about murder, death, sorrow, broken relationships, or about anything else other than about the person of Jesus Christ. Start casual conversations, even just in a completely historical context about the person of Jesus Christ and see if it doesn't shut everyone up or get them upset or make them uncomfortable. Try the same with Confucius, Buddha, Mohammed, Brahma, the Bab, Joseph Smith, or even Adolf Hitler and no one really cares. The truth is, there is an objective reality going on outside of ourselves that is more powerful than we are and has a greater influence on the outcome of our actions than we do. I think the thought of this for non-Christians must be scary, so absolutely terrifying, that it must be (at the least) kept at bay by trying to ignore it, or at worst, attacking against this reality that they inherently know, that they can FEEL is there and represents some sort of truth. The same gay-rights activists who angerly protest, boycott and organize "kiss-ins" at Chick-Fila restaurants because the owner says he supports "the Biblical view of marriage" will never bother to boycott or protest against Shell or Exxon gas stations whose oil is owned, drilled, and sold by Saudi Arabian Islamasists who say (and actively support) that homosexuality should be punished by death.....because the reality is that there is no real power, no unseen force behind the accusation that homosexuality is wrong from an Islamic stance, but an incredible conviction brought on by the inferred accusation that homosexual marraige would be "unbiblical."
The second we force ourselves to acknowledge all this is the second we realize we ultimately can't adequately explain our lives or have control over our own existence, acknowledging that we ultimately belong or are ultimately in submission to the whims and power and desires of something, or even Someone else. The problem for non-Christians, I believe, is not unbelief but intentional disbelief in a reality that they know... they can FEEL is true. They can't convince their own hearts of the anti-truths they want to believe, anti-truths that keep them in comfortable control of their own lives and destinies ...so they try to distract themselves with enough activities or thoughts or chemicals to remain happy enough to exist in their own self-created delusion. They reject what they know in their hearts to be true and attempt to create a new reality in which they have authority over their own existence, and attempt to live it out in a way that validates their new reality they've created. An attempt at intentional self-deceit, if you will, but the problem still remains that the alternate reality that they refuse to believe is indeed an OBJECTIVE one that is real, and is much more powerful than any existence they can attempt to create for themselves, because the truth is, the Creator and Director of the reality we cannot see is also the Creator and the Director of the one we can see. His name is Jesus Christ, and even as you read all this, I'm pretty sure you're feeling and thinking things (anger, resistance, fear, disgust, conviction... love?), beyond anything you can explain in a purely physical or natural sense, or beyond what you normally should be when reading any oped or blog or commentary, even if it was one that you disagreed with greatly. These are just words on a page, right?
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