Hersh, this one's for you, buddy.....
As I've mentioned in a previous blog, I own a two bedroom condo in Dallas - affectionately known as the "Holly Oaks Hostel" that I use to house various guys in different transition stages of their lives, whether it be someone going through a difficult time in their life, or just a wandering derelict needing a place to stay - like myself. Roommates have come and gone (and stayed... you know who you are), but no one embodied the description of a wandering derelict more than my friend Josh. He graduated from college several years back with a ministry degree, and after a brief stint in youth ministry and inner-city work, decided to move to Dallas and get a job parking cars to pay off some college debt, so he would feel truly free to do whatever he believed God would lead him to do. A mutual friend told him I could help get him a job parking cars; they showed up at an ultimate frisbee pick/up game I play at, and my life hasn't been the same since.
You see, when I first met Josh, he pretty much embodied the life I felt like I should be living, but never had the guts to fully embrace. He drove a beat-up Geo (owning no more than he could fit in it), ran around everywhere barefoot, hardly ever dressed up to impress, and pretty much rebelled against all forms of "Christian" orthodoxy as taught by his legalistic Church-of-Christ college. He was living a life and doing ministry radically different than the way our society and even the American church was telling us our lives should look like. He was living his life, in essence, in a way that exposed the facade, artificialness, and meaninglessness of what the average American Christian's life looked like. He had a heart for ministry and humanity and with it big dreams; he wanted to live an epic "Frodo-like" life; he wanted to re-invent or impact the world in a way that would benefit all humanity for the better, and he was fearless in trying anything. He had looked the world in the eye and, like the Joker, told it "You have nothing that I want!" He paid off all his debt and moved back to Abilene a year later to take a ministry position, and began his attempt at an epic life.
Fast forward 3 years later... the ministry position didn't work out, he moved back to Dallas, got kicked out by his roommate (who got married), and spent the next two years parking cars, living on various people's floors (including mine), pursued romance, and took various adventures around the world... basically trying to find out the next direction for his life. Everything kept seeming to end up in dead ends; he began spending evenings hanging out at the condo drinking whiskey, eating cookies, ranting about society's and humanity's failures and its blindness (political and social) with other indulging roommates, and attempting to convince himself and other condo guests that life is meaningless. Fortunately, this life state was brief - he's got his RPM certification and is moving to New Zealand (Frodo land!) in June to try to kick-start his life again. He's a much better writer than me and has written a reflective blog post called Phat Base on his blog to which I responded to. You can read it and my comments at thebarefootjungleboy.blogspot.com.
I have yet to indulge in the Holly Oaks Hostel whiskey nights, but I've enjoyed the reflectiveness of the commentary, even if it is a bit induced. I mean, isn't that what the human heart cries out for? To know our lives are relevant? To know our existence serves some purpose? If so, what then is the meaning of life? John Piper gives my favorite definition in saying "Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever!" OK, this sounds pretty, but how does that look in a pragmatic way - a way that we can live out on earth and see results that confirm to us that our lives do have meaning?
I've been attending a "mega-church" here in Dallas for about the last 6 months. I'm usually not a big fan of such - in my opinion, most are showy, extravagantly waste resources on themselves, and give a pretty watered down "feel-good" version of the gospel which threatens no one and keeps everyone coming back to fill the pews. However, for whatever my opinion's worth (obviously God's is the one that counts - it's His bride, after all), I think Watermark does ministry well. They encourage community and accountability through many small group situations and certainly don't water down the gospel. A few weeks back, they showed a film called "Who will write my name?" in which various people that came to know Christ through the witness of a friend at the church were shown in various situations holding up a big sign with that friend's name written on it and talked about how that friend had originally invited them to Watermark. As I sat there feeling judgmental about how the video seemed to be overly promoting the church, it struck me that in its effort to encourage its members to invest in the lives of others around them, the reality was it was appealing to the desire of the human heart for validation, which is ultimately filled in others telling us our lives have had meaning, that our existence has affected theirs, that our lives have had a positive effect on this planet. It made me wonder who, if anyone, would "write my name" and hold it up for others to see.
I think this is the summation of what makes life meaningful - that others speak meaning into our lives, letting us know that their existence in this world has been made better directly by ours. We long for this validation - our entire existence seems to revolve around this, so much so, that we start blogs, Facebook accounts, and twitter in order to get people to take interest in our lives in an attempt to manipulate respect out of other people for the things we've done with our life. However, even Jesus said "If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid". In essence, we can attempt to promote ourselves (we all do), but the true measure of promotion of our lives will come FROM others as they testify TO others and to the world what our lives have done for them and their world.
This practice is extremely Biblical as God often "holds up" or writes/speaks the name of those whose lives He believes have positively affected His earthly story to bring glory to His name. "Consider My servant"(Job), "My friend" (Abraham), "A man after My own heart" (David), "Behold My Son (Jesus) with whom I am well pleased", and "Of those born of women, none was greater than (John)" were just a few of the people whose lives God Himself spoke meaning into. There have been/are/will be others as well, all WRITTEN into the book of life. I'm pretty sure that having God hold, write, and exalt our name before all creation will validate and fill our lives with a sense of meaning that we currently can not comprehend. It's God's job to exalt us; it's our job to humble ourselves. If we attempt to do His job, He will probably do ours for us.
Sorry, Josh - I obviously can't come anywhere close to this in terms of "name-holding", but for you, this is the best I got. So here's to holding your name before fellow humans, letting them know that by your life, you've taught me the importance of living fearlessly on Earth in an attempt to create eternal good. I'd make you a poster as well, but I know you'd probably disapprove of the waste of resources. If I climb Mt. Sneffels again this year, I'll make it a point to eat a peanut butter sandwich on top and tag it on Facebook with your name on it. Just by being you, by living your life, you have affected my life for the better, giving me a greater desire to live a more "epic" life for the kingdom of Christ by encouraging me to fearlessly "jump in" to different life opportunities. Hopefully, I'll see you in New Zealand.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
God: The Original Facebook Account
Mark Zuckerberg is now worth billions for "inventing" the social network Facebook. But long before Mark, or even the brothers that claimed he stole the idea from them, or his ex-coworker that claims the idea was his, or even Myspace, God had started Facebook.
I mean, really... what is the point, what is the big attraction of Facebook? Is it not to basically write a resume of our life, to show ourselves off to anyone who might take interest in our lives? To sell ourselves to others? To try to convince others (and perhaps ourselves) that our lives do have some value or something worthy of the respect of others? I think that's why it's so popular - in essence, we can be whoever we want to whomever we want. We post our best pictures, write our most creative thoughts... pretty much publishing things that keep us looking good in the eyes of our Facebook friends - many times people we haven't even met. I don't think you'll find too many Facebook accounts where people will make themselves vulnerable - you know, posting their struggles, confessing their doubts and fears, and talking about their failed relationships. If everyone's real life lined up with their Facebook lives, this world would be a much better place, and nobody would be suffering from boredom because we would certainly be living much fuller and more fulfilling lives than a bunch of people who sit around typing into their laptops everyday (I'm removing the plank right now).
The truth is, in our American society and society in general, our relationships have gotten so superficial, so self-centered that we have trouble sustaining them, because they've all been initiated and maintained on some false image we've attempted to create for ourselves due to our desire to validate ourselves through our relationships. The problem is the closer we become to these "friends", the harder it is to keep up the charade of the amazing person we've tried to convince them that we are. I think that's why so many relationships fail - we work so hard at maintaining the image we've created for our self, and when people get close enough to us to realize the falseness of it, they often feel betrayed in the friendship and disassociate with us. So we love things like Facebook, blogs, and twitter - we can reveal to our "friends" only what we want them to know, show them only the best of who we are or how we look, make our lives look fulfilling and interesting, and edit all our communications so that we say exactly what we want without stumbling over words. This eliminates the threat of having to deal with people face to face, where they might be able to see all our weaknesses, vulnerabilities, fears, emotional garbage or anything else that might make us appear less than a perfect person to them. We enjoy this security buffer since we fear people might not like the real "us", since we all, deep down inside, know that there's something currently wrong, something not quite right with ourselves in our current sinful state, separated from God.
You see, God really did start Facebook. Since the beginning of time, He's had an account, which He updates regularly. He lets you know who He is. He let's you know His likes and dislikes, and His interests as well. He gives status updates regularly, for anyone that's paying attention. He publishes pictures of things He's created, things He thinks are beautiful, things He thinks are good to eat. He sends out constant friend requests, some of which are accepted, some of which are ignored, and many of which are denied. Does He "unfriend"? Well... I might blog my thoughts on that in the future, but for now, I'll leave that for all the biblical expositionists and theologians to debate, who are much smarter than me. He usually lets you know who his friends are, and suggests that you should friend them too. His profile lets you know He's interested in all men and women, and desires a friendship and a relationship with everyone. He "likes" (and also dislikes) constantly on His friends accounts, to show he cares about their well-being. He "pokes" people and sends them messages to get their attention when He feels they need to wake up and live a better life, or jump into something He's involved in so they can have a greater story to tell. He let's you know where He's been at work and is currently working, so you can join Him there. He blogs (Bible) and tweets as well, so you can know His thoughts and what He's up to on a daily basis. Have you signed up as a follower?
Entertain me a moment, and let's visit God's profile page, starting from the top: He has worked and works.... constantly, in an infinite amount of places. He's studied.... nowhere, because He already knows everything. He lives...eternally. He's from... the beginning. He's never been born ... and will never die. He knows every language ever spoken... but His favorite one is love. He has no need to edit His profile ...because He never changes. As far as arts and entertainment, he likes any music, books, movie, shows, or games that honor His name, draw people closer to Himself, and cause them to love others more. His activities and interests include creating things out of nothing, and then pouring out His love and showing His glory to the things He's created. His basic info just says "I AM". His contact info reads "through my Son, Jesus Christ". His side columns are seemingly endless, listing all His friends, easily identified by their love for one another and by lives that bear fruit for His kingdom. Are you easily recognized, or do people have to run an extensive search to see if you're on His list of friends? How often do you visit His profile page to see what He's been up to? How often do the two of you chat? I would suggest you "friend" Him right now if you haven't already. You might as well, because He ALWAYS has access to your account, even if you've tried to "block" Him before. He is quite capable of hiding His status from you, but if you send Him a sincere request, I'm pretty sure you'll get a response. He's always on-line.
I mean, really... what is the point, what is the big attraction of Facebook? Is it not to basically write a resume of our life, to show ourselves off to anyone who might take interest in our lives? To sell ourselves to others? To try to convince others (and perhaps ourselves) that our lives do have some value or something worthy of the respect of others? I think that's why it's so popular - in essence, we can be whoever we want to whomever we want. We post our best pictures, write our most creative thoughts... pretty much publishing things that keep us looking good in the eyes of our Facebook friends - many times people we haven't even met. I don't think you'll find too many Facebook accounts where people will make themselves vulnerable - you know, posting their struggles, confessing their doubts and fears, and talking about their failed relationships. If everyone's real life lined up with their Facebook lives, this world would be a much better place, and nobody would be suffering from boredom because we would certainly be living much fuller and more fulfilling lives than a bunch of people who sit around typing into their laptops everyday (I'm removing the plank right now).
The truth is, in our American society and society in general, our relationships have gotten so superficial, so self-centered that we have trouble sustaining them, because they've all been initiated and maintained on some false image we've attempted to create for ourselves due to our desire to validate ourselves through our relationships. The problem is the closer we become to these "friends", the harder it is to keep up the charade of the amazing person we've tried to convince them that we are. I think that's why so many relationships fail - we work so hard at maintaining the image we've created for our self, and when people get close enough to us to realize the falseness of it, they often feel betrayed in the friendship and disassociate with us. So we love things like Facebook, blogs, and twitter - we can reveal to our "friends" only what we want them to know, show them only the best of who we are or how we look, make our lives look fulfilling and interesting, and edit all our communications so that we say exactly what we want without stumbling over words. This eliminates the threat of having to deal with people face to face, where they might be able to see all our weaknesses, vulnerabilities, fears, emotional garbage or anything else that might make us appear less than a perfect person to them. We enjoy this security buffer since we fear people might not like the real "us", since we all, deep down inside, know that there's something currently wrong, something not quite right with ourselves in our current sinful state, separated from God.
You see, God really did start Facebook. Since the beginning of time, He's had an account, which He updates regularly. He lets you know who He is. He let's you know His likes and dislikes, and His interests as well. He gives status updates regularly, for anyone that's paying attention. He publishes pictures of things He's created, things He thinks are beautiful, things He thinks are good to eat. He sends out constant friend requests, some of which are accepted, some of which are ignored, and many of which are denied. Does He "unfriend"? Well... I might blog my thoughts on that in the future, but for now, I'll leave that for all the biblical expositionists and theologians to debate, who are much smarter than me. He usually lets you know who his friends are, and suggests that you should friend them too. His profile lets you know He's interested in all men and women, and desires a friendship and a relationship with everyone. He "likes" (and also dislikes) constantly on His friends accounts, to show he cares about their well-being. He "pokes" people and sends them messages to get their attention when He feels they need to wake up and live a better life, or jump into something He's involved in so they can have a greater story to tell. He let's you know where He's been at work and is currently working, so you can join Him there. He blogs (Bible) and tweets as well, so you can know His thoughts and what He's up to on a daily basis. Have you signed up as a follower?
Entertain me a moment, and let's visit God's profile page, starting from the top: He has worked and works.... constantly, in an infinite amount of places. He's studied.... nowhere, because He already knows everything. He lives...eternally. He's from... the beginning. He's never been born ... and will never die. He knows every language ever spoken... but His favorite one is love. He has no need to edit His profile ...because He never changes. As far as arts and entertainment, he likes any music, books, movie, shows, or games that honor His name, draw people closer to Himself, and cause them to love others more. His activities and interests include creating things out of nothing, and then pouring out His love and showing His glory to the things He's created. His basic info just says "I AM". His contact info reads "through my Son, Jesus Christ". His side columns are seemingly endless, listing all His friends, easily identified by their love for one another and by lives that bear fruit for His kingdom. Are you easily recognized, or do people have to run an extensive search to see if you're on His list of friends? How often do you visit His profile page to see what He's been up to? How often do the two of you chat? I would suggest you "friend" Him right now if you haven't already. You might as well, because He ALWAYS has access to your account, even if you've tried to "block" Him before. He is quite capable of hiding His status from you, but if you send Him a sincere request, I'm pretty sure you'll get a response. He's always on-line.
American Democracy: Creating Fat Christians
"Everyone's a Christian, but nobody knows what it means to be one.... the world has been made Christian at the cost of secularizing the Christian religion as never before" -Dietiech Bonhoeffer
"The early church used to be small, with a huge influence... turning the world upside down. Now it is huge with almost no influence on our society at all." -American Pastor
"I'm phat, and I'm gettin' phatter!" - Gilbert Brown, Reebok Commercial.
In December 2010, I let my job know I was taking most of 2011 off to do some writing - mainly to try to organize some thoughts on paper I believe God has been putting in my head over the last several years. I knew I would probably have trouble holding myself to this (I've quite enjoyed my busy, but admittedly "easy" life over the past few years of parking cars, shooting hoops, playing ultimate, and traveling the world with various friends) so I intentionally began telling friends and family I was taking the year off to do some reflective writing, to try to hold myself accountable to do so. I figured if enough people kept asking me about what I was writing and wanted to read it, I'd eventually have to come up with something to keep myself from looking lazy.
After only 4 months, I'm truly convinced that anyone who says they're a writer or wants to write IS inherently lazy. We really don't do a whole lot. I sleep in as long as I want, have no appointments other than the occasional basketball or frisbee game; I've even parked cars (valet) a few times just to hang out with my co-workers. On most days if nothing comes to me I just shut down the laptop and go to the gym or hang out with my roommates for the rest of the day. It's interesting that you hardly ever find a career writer. Most prolific authors today originally started out in a demanding field (law, business, politics), then after burnout decided they wanted to become a writer... so that they don't HAVE to do anything. They really just want to sit around in their pajamas all day, surf the internet, and maybe entertain the occasional speaking engagement or book signing if they get famous. If you get one good book publication, you're probably set for life - it will continue to provide residual income and everyone will buy everything you write in the future, even if you're churning out pure garbage. I wrote many lengthy research papers in school with only 2 pages worth of relevant info, and teachers still "bought it" because I was known as an A student. The problem with becoming a writer is that once you've embraced the lifestyle, it's hard to change back and do anything remotely productive because you've gotten used to having no real demands on your life. It's an easy life, but because you're really not doing anything you start getting fat, and unless some life situation shocks you from your revelry, you just get fatter.
Enter the American church. We're the most spiritually (and physically) fed group of Christians that have ever walked the planet. We have all kinds of Christian books, radio programs, seminaries, talk shows, seminars, conferences - you name it. We got a little bit of everything on the buffet. Spiritual food IS inherently good - Hebrews talks of newborn Christians needing "milk", and the apostle Paul chides certain churches for not maturing from milk to meat. We (the American church) have plenty of both with a plethora of junk food as well. This is all fine and dandy (not the junk), but the problem is that it all makes you fat if you're not getting any exercise. Enter our American political system, the greatest enabler of Christian obesity that has ever existed.
Strictly politically speaking, I have a very Ron Paul-esque Libertarian mindset with a penchant for Adam Smith economics. I think big government is bad on all levels. However, as our government has continued to grow, the greatest harm is not what it's doing to our political or economic system, but what it is has done to the American church. Big government in a democratically elected society makes us lazy because it gives us easy, non-relational ways to do church work. It's much easier to "pencil-in" a ballot box vote for certain candidates running on a pro-life, anti-gay marraige platform than to approach the single un-wed teenage mother, start an orphanage and adoption service, or invest in the lives of homosexual neighbors by befriending them and fearlessly doing our best to present Christ to them and lead them out of a destructive lifestyle. We get used to having federal agencies like FEMA and the National Guard to respond to emergencies of our fellow citizens (here and abroad), and love to criticize them when we think they haven't responded adequately or in a timely manner. Why does this surprise us? Historically, government has always done a remarkably poor job of doing work that God desires His church to do, and likewise, His church has historically become extremely corrupt, ineffective, and lazy when given too much political power or influence. That to me, is the biggest problem with American politics and our "big" democracy in general - it allows us (the church) an avenue, or medium if you will, to engage our culture by "forcing" our beliefs onto them, instead of attempting to use the power of the gospel to change their lives. In the early days of the church, killing babies (child sacrifice), homosexuality, homelessness, poverty, and hunger were just as (or even more) prevalent in the world as they are in our society now, but you never saw the apostles or church leaders running to their secular governments for help, or attempting to use them as an avenue to change society. The apostles weren't interested in creating God's kingdom on earth through legal or military force, they intended to do it by directly engaging their culture with the intent to change the hearts and souls of men.... the only way that produces lasting results.
Throughout history, in any society, as the church has gained political power or influence, the temptation has ALWAYS been to try to change society through that "power" (top-down approach) instead of through relationships with people (bottom-up approach) as Christ exemplified. It's amazing to me to see how many "conservatives" argue against big government, but continue to try to use that very avenue to accomplish the things that they claim are closest to their hearts. Church work is always much more cost-effective, personally rewarding, and spiritually gratifying when done hands-on. It would take only a few rich Dallas folks selling off their Bentleys to start an orphanage, provide free sonograms and birthing services, and offer free adoption services for anyone wanting to adopt a child in Dallas, perhaps saving thousands of lives... but instead, they would seem to rather spend millions of dollars to elect politicians, lobby for pro-life judges, and combat gay activists in the public sphere, without changing or saving any lives. It appears our concerns are more for creating our own little heavens on earth instead of attempting to rescue others from an eternal hell.
Try this experiment for yourself: Begin asking random people where we went wrong as a nation/culture or who is to be blamed for our society's glaring problems. You'll typically get responses ranging from government policies, to certain political leaders, to homosexuals pushing gay rights agendas, to big bankers, to "greedy" wall street executives and CEOs, and even "lazy welfare" people. I'm sure all these groups have a reason to be blamed, but it's interesting that, if you study the Bible, it's rare that God ever directs criticism for a society's failures on any secular institutions or unchurched people. Instead, God directs almost all of His criticism and blame at religious leaders (teachers, priests, prophets), the church itself (us), and parents. If you ask the above question, even in a church setting, you'll rarely hear anyone blaming these last few because, in essence, they would be probably be condemning themselves.
I've been in many churches that encourage members "to get out and vote" but few that focus on training people how to confront such issues in our society such as unwanted pregnancies, homosexual lifestyles, cycles of homelessness, or genuine poverty and hunger. Our bloated democracy gives us the idea that we can better our society by putting people in the right positions of power; as their reach is expanded it only feeds the idea that we should try change society through our government. We're fat, and we're gettin' fatter. (Vote Ron Paul in 2012)
"The early church used to be small, with a huge influence... turning the world upside down. Now it is huge with almost no influence on our society at all." -American Pastor
"I'm phat, and I'm gettin' phatter!" - Gilbert Brown, Reebok Commercial.
In December 2010, I let my job know I was taking most of 2011 off to do some writing - mainly to try to organize some thoughts on paper I believe God has been putting in my head over the last several years. I knew I would probably have trouble holding myself to this (I've quite enjoyed my busy, but admittedly "easy" life over the past few years of parking cars, shooting hoops, playing ultimate, and traveling the world with various friends) so I intentionally began telling friends and family I was taking the year off to do some reflective writing, to try to hold myself accountable to do so. I figured if enough people kept asking me about what I was writing and wanted to read it, I'd eventually have to come up with something to keep myself from looking lazy.
After only 4 months, I'm truly convinced that anyone who says they're a writer or wants to write IS inherently lazy. We really don't do a whole lot. I sleep in as long as I want, have no appointments other than the occasional basketball or frisbee game; I've even parked cars (valet) a few times just to hang out with my co-workers. On most days if nothing comes to me I just shut down the laptop and go to the gym or hang out with my roommates for the rest of the day. It's interesting that you hardly ever find a career writer. Most prolific authors today originally started out in a demanding field (law, business, politics), then after burnout decided they wanted to become a writer... so that they don't HAVE to do anything. They really just want to sit around in their pajamas all day, surf the internet, and maybe entertain the occasional speaking engagement or book signing if they get famous. If you get one good book publication, you're probably set for life - it will continue to provide residual income and everyone will buy everything you write in the future, even if you're churning out pure garbage. I wrote many lengthy research papers in school with only 2 pages worth of relevant info, and teachers still "bought it" because I was known as an A student. The problem with becoming a writer is that once you've embraced the lifestyle, it's hard to change back and do anything remotely productive because you've gotten used to having no real demands on your life. It's an easy life, but because you're really not doing anything you start getting fat, and unless some life situation shocks you from your revelry, you just get fatter.
Enter the American church. We're the most spiritually (and physically) fed group of Christians that have ever walked the planet. We have all kinds of Christian books, radio programs, seminaries, talk shows, seminars, conferences - you name it. We got a little bit of everything on the buffet. Spiritual food IS inherently good - Hebrews talks of newborn Christians needing "milk", and the apostle Paul chides certain churches for not maturing from milk to meat. We (the American church) have plenty of both with a plethora of junk food as well. This is all fine and dandy (not the junk), but the problem is that it all makes you fat if you're not getting any exercise. Enter our American political system, the greatest enabler of Christian obesity that has ever existed.
Strictly politically speaking, I have a very Ron Paul-esque Libertarian mindset with a penchant for Adam Smith economics. I think big government is bad on all levels. However, as our government has continued to grow, the greatest harm is not what it's doing to our political or economic system, but what it is has done to the American church. Big government in a democratically elected society makes us lazy because it gives us easy, non-relational ways to do church work. It's much easier to "pencil-in" a ballot box vote for certain candidates running on a pro-life, anti-gay marraige platform than to approach the single un-wed teenage mother, start an orphanage and adoption service, or invest in the lives of homosexual neighbors by befriending them and fearlessly doing our best to present Christ to them and lead them out of a destructive lifestyle. We get used to having federal agencies like FEMA and the National Guard to respond to emergencies of our fellow citizens (here and abroad), and love to criticize them when we think they haven't responded adequately or in a timely manner. Why does this surprise us? Historically, government has always done a remarkably poor job of doing work that God desires His church to do, and likewise, His church has historically become extremely corrupt, ineffective, and lazy when given too much political power or influence. That to me, is the biggest problem with American politics and our "big" democracy in general - it allows us (the church) an avenue, or medium if you will, to engage our culture by "forcing" our beliefs onto them, instead of attempting to use the power of the gospel to change their lives. In the early days of the church, killing babies (child sacrifice), homosexuality, homelessness, poverty, and hunger were just as (or even more) prevalent in the world as they are in our society now, but you never saw the apostles or church leaders running to their secular governments for help, or attempting to use them as an avenue to change society. The apostles weren't interested in creating God's kingdom on earth through legal or military force, they intended to do it by directly engaging their culture with the intent to change the hearts and souls of men.... the only way that produces lasting results.
Throughout history, in any society, as the church has gained political power or influence, the temptation has ALWAYS been to try to change society through that "power" (top-down approach) instead of through relationships with people (bottom-up approach) as Christ exemplified. It's amazing to me to see how many "conservatives" argue against big government, but continue to try to use that very avenue to accomplish the things that they claim are closest to their hearts. Church work is always much more cost-effective, personally rewarding, and spiritually gratifying when done hands-on. It would take only a few rich Dallas folks selling off their Bentleys to start an orphanage, provide free sonograms and birthing services, and offer free adoption services for anyone wanting to adopt a child in Dallas, perhaps saving thousands of lives... but instead, they would seem to rather spend millions of dollars to elect politicians, lobby for pro-life judges, and combat gay activists in the public sphere, without changing or saving any lives. It appears our concerns are more for creating our own little heavens on earth instead of attempting to rescue others from an eternal hell.
Try this experiment for yourself: Begin asking random people where we went wrong as a nation/culture or who is to be blamed for our society's glaring problems. You'll typically get responses ranging from government policies, to certain political leaders, to homosexuals pushing gay rights agendas, to big bankers, to "greedy" wall street executives and CEOs, and even "lazy welfare" people. I'm sure all these groups have a reason to be blamed, but it's interesting that, if you study the Bible, it's rare that God ever directs criticism for a society's failures on any secular institutions or unchurched people. Instead, God directs almost all of His criticism and blame at religious leaders (teachers, priests, prophets), the church itself (us), and parents. If you ask the above question, even in a church setting, you'll rarely hear anyone blaming these last few because, in essence, they would be probably be condemning themselves.
I've been in many churches that encourage members "to get out and vote" but few that focus on training people how to confront such issues in our society such as unwanted pregnancies, homosexual lifestyles, cycles of homelessness, or genuine poverty and hunger. Our bloated democracy gives us the idea that we can better our society by putting people in the right positions of power; as their reach is expanded it only feeds the idea that we should try change society through our government. We're fat, and we're gettin' fatter. (Vote Ron Paul in 2012)
Marraige vs. Singleness: Losing our identity in someone else
It is April of 2011. As I stated in a previous post, I'm trying to take most of the year off my valet job to hash out and put on paper some things that God has laid on my heart, things that have been floating around in my head (it's pretty roomy in there) for the past several years. I get distracted easily from things I believe God has led me to do, so I figured stepping back from my daily life might help a bit. Things went pretty well for a while, but by mid-march I'd hit a wall and got bored. I had some Delta miles I needed to use, so I booked a three week trip to Hawaii to do some hiking and camping, hoping that taking myself even further out of my Dallas routine would help kick-start my thoughts. The plan is to spend a week on Maui and finish the trip hiking the Napali Coastal Trail on the island of Kauai with some buddies.
The tropical scenery is beautiful here - there's endless secluded beaches, gorgeous sunsets, huge volcanic mountains, picturesque waterfalls with natural pools to swim in, and all kinds of crazy plants and animals, both below and above the water. You can't help but worship God in the beauty of this part of His creation. It's no wonder so many honeymooning couples and families come here for an exotic getaway. People here seemed lost in the beauty, lost in the revelry of the moment, the food, the exotic feeling of being here with family and friends... all lost in the company of someone else. I've traveled all over the world, but Hawaii - more than any place I've been - seems to be all about enjoying the company of someone else. There are very few solo travelers here.
I turned 38 years old last month. Throughout most of my life, I've avoided most serious relationships with the female species, so much so, that when I got engaged a few years back, most of my friends and family had a hard time believing the news, whether the information came through a third party or even myself. "Yeah right...whatever", "Zack engaged? No way!", and "Did hell freeze over?" were commonly heard comments. I thought it was quite amusing at the time - even comical - that I had spent most of my younger life embracing the single lifestyle so strongly that it almost felt like I was letting people down or ruining an image that I had built up for myself over the years. To this day, I'm 100% grateful that I had this "engagement experience"; I'm also 100% grateful that we broke it off.
Most modern-day weddings disgust me. Don't get me wrong here. I truly respect the institution of marriage and believe it should be held in honor by all. I believe it is an institution that has been designed and created by God Himself, as a sanctifying agent, to give us a visual aid of what our relationship with Him is like. A team of two, united for one purpose, will always be stronger and more effective than one. God uses others to refine us; in a marriage, I believe this process is amplified, we are constantly "in the fire" if you will. Marriage is indeed a beautiful thing. I just think we have been sold a watered down ideal of it in "Christian" America that looks no different than what the rest of the world believes about it; perhaps even corrupting it a bit further because of our wealth and pride. Think about it: We spend thousands of dollars buying pieces of absolutely worthless rock, usually mined with the backs and blood of children because we've bought into the lie that "diamonds are forever" and are therefore a symbol of marriage. Are we that easily sold a cultural lie? We put on lavish ceremonies to display ourselves and throw parties that usually include drunken debauchery where the entire point seems to be to glorify ourselves with pictures, dress, dances .... all in the name of doing something ...Christian? Weddings in America, I fear, have gone the way of Christmas - we have commercialized and degraded the experience to the point we no longer understand what it really means. We've given it a part of life status equivalent to going to college, getting a job, a home - the "supposed to do" stuff if you want to be labeled a successful member of society.
The beauty of this whole process was to flesh out what marriage would do for me, in the context of living a life wholeheartedly for the sake of God's kingdom. In my early young adult days, I would usually immediately reject any set-up attempts by well-meaning Christian friends by adamantly defending my single lifestyle. I would brag about the freedom of my current state; in Christian circles I would flaunt that I had nothing preventing me financially, emotionally, physically, or socially (ok, some would argue this) from doing whatever God wanted me to do in life... with my life. I was, in essence, off the grid. Society had no pull on me or had anything I needed. I continued this line of reasoning until Someone pointed out to me that if I truly was living my life in such a state, I ought to ponder my level of accountability before a most holy God. Shortly thereafter, a good friend's wife (who I'd just met for the first time and tried to set me up with her sister) adamantly made the point that if I truly felt it was God's calling for me to stay single and serve Him, I should note that others who were confirmed in such a calling (John the Baptist, Paul, Francis of Assisi, David Livingston, Luther's early years, Mother Theresa, Rich Mullins) all lived lives that were so incredibly radically oriented to the cause of Christ's kingdom that a married/family life simply wouldn't have made much sense in light of spousely/parental duties in terms of family nurturing and child rearing. Needless to say, I was immediately humbled, extremely terrified, and suddenly wanted to get married.
So the question begs... what is right/best for me? What would being married do for me? Are there advantages in being married? Staying single? Can I ponder this honestly? I will try to throw all selfish desires aside as I think about this. Singleness, for me, creates an overwhelming sense of self awareness and therefore pride. I'm more conscious of how I look, how I act, and in general, what others in society perceive of me. Walk into a party, or church, or any social setting alone and you will usually find yourself much more conscious of self or how you're perceived than if you walk in with someone else. I think, perhaps, that this is accentuated by the cultural pressure to be "in a relationship." When you're not, and you're 38, you feel the need to convince those around you that there's nothing wrong with you that is preventing this. People start wondering what's wrong with you or what's happened in your past or what kind of "issues" you have that are preventing you from being in a relationship. In the brief period in which I was engaged, especially when she was around me, I never really felt this. In essence, my identity was lost in or part of someone else's and this made me OK. You get this feeling of validation before your fellow man that says "See, look - I'm worthy of someone's affection". Society is obsessed with this - we use phrases like "married up" or "married down", thus assigning a recognized feeling of worth, within invisible layers determined by one's own society. Christ definitely married down, when He took on us (His church) as His bride.
I think God's desire is that our relationship with Him is like this - our identity should be so lost in Him in His presence, in living our lives before an Audience of One, that we would always feel we are quite complete before a watching world, never needing their approval to validate ourselves. Our existence should be so wrapped up in our identity in loving and serving Him, that we would never need anyone's approval to make ourselves feel we are all right, thus losing our sense of self-awareness that leads to pride. One of my favorite passages in the entire Bible is Mark 12:13-17, where Jesus's enemies try to get Him in trouble with the Romans (and Jews) by questioning Him about who taxes should be paid to. They (His ENEMIES) intro their question with "Teacher, we know you are true, for you do not value the opinions of men". Let's think about this in two ways: #1)Jesus (being God) must have thought the idea of seeking their approval seemed silly, since after all, He had created them. #2)Jesus (being human) knew that what He was speaking and what He was representing to a watching world was 100% truth, therefore He felt no fear in living his life before men or valuing their approval at all, because He knew He WAS TRUTH. So anytime we stand before men, or a spouse, or any audience and are continually obsessed with selling our self, we will always be overly self-conscience or fearful with what others think or how they perceive us, because we know our identity is that of a fallen creature with faults, that is not perfect, and does not represent perfect truth....unless we are able to totally lose our identity in that of Another, who has no faults or limitations or weaknesses and represents complete truth. The beauty of the Christian's testimony is we should be the first to confess our faults and weaknesses; this breaks down our own barriers and others' that we interact with, because by admitting faults and weaknesses, we are attempting to present our true self. If our relationship with God is not to this point, we probably have no business getting married; it would be quite unfair to someone else to base our identity in them, and then try to sell that identity, packaged with our own, as something completely perfect or to be respected by a watching world.
The problem with marriage for me is it seems, from observing society, that it creates unhealthy fears. Fear is an extremely manipulative emotion that drives us to live boring lives; our greatest fears are relational. We get married with big dreams, then usually fall prey to our culture of comfort and security, trying our best to not do anything that would "rock the boat" in our fragile human relationships. I think we tend to do human relationships so poorly that even in a "Christian" marriage there is an overwhelming desire to maintain peace at all costs, so we try to set ourselves up with a house, good jobs, and other things that make our lives easy and comfortable. Admittedly, in my brief period of being engaged, I thought about such things constantly (health insurance, place to live, good job) to the point where I know I would have joined the fearful ranks of the American Christians who strive to live their daily lives with as much safety and security as possible. This cultural ideal for a good marriage, in my opinion, has put the church in slumber. No longer does being a Christ-follower mean living a radical, if not epic life. It seems we have fallen prey to the idea that a good Christian home is one that fits respectfully and stably within the society surrounding it - which is tempting in that it is easy and gains the respect of peers, but to me would eventually become incredibly boring. For me to have a successful marriage I would, in essence, need someone who doesn't need me, whose life is already so complete that the only reason she'd want to marry me would be in obedience to something God wanted her to do with her life; to partner with someone to continue to live an epic adventure of following and serving Christ fearlessly, regardless of the cost to her comfort and security. Having someone whom I love deeply who would put our relationship (as a unit) fearlessly before God and constantly remind me of who I am in that context would help me be diligent in this calling, because I find myself often tempted to choose the "easy" route. I would need someone whose identity is so lost in Christ, whose life is so wrapped up in her relationship with Him, that she would feel no need or desire to be married outside of doing so in obedience to God, to refine her in a way that would draw her closer to Him. Any takers?
You see, my life reeks of contentment in a worldly sense. I've pretty much been in cruise control for the last several years - I park cars, I travel the world, I play lots of sports, I hang out with friends... basically, I get to do whatever I want whenever I want. Most anyone who knows me (human validation - woo-hoo!!) tells me they would love to have my life. Yes, my life is certainly easy, but it has also gotten incredibly BORING. That's the problem with cruise control - it eventually can become so comfortable that it puts everyone in the car asleep, including the driver. I'm pretty sure there's no where in scripture where God calls someone to step back and live as easy, cushy, and safe life as possible, yet in Christian circles in America, this is the ideal we are often taught to strive for and are raised and schooled to achieve.
The point of all this is to not tell anyone weather they are better off married or single; I will trust that if they have a relationship with God, He will reveal that to them. The point here is that if we are looking for someone other than God to come along and complete our life, we are placing unfair expectations on that person, trying to get them to fill a role that only God can adequately fill, that will void us of pride/self-awareness/ and desire for man's approval. We often worship at the alter of romantic completion only to crucify our significant other when we realize they're not Jesus.
The tropical scenery is beautiful here - there's endless secluded beaches, gorgeous sunsets, huge volcanic mountains, picturesque waterfalls with natural pools to swim in, and all kinds of crazy plants and animals, both below and above the water. You can't help but worship God in the beauty of this part of His creation. It's no wonder so many honeymooning couples and families come here for an exotic getaway. People here seemed lost in the beauty, lost in the revelry of the moment, the food, the exotic feeling of being here with family and friends... all lost in the company of someone else. I've traveled all over the world, but Hawaii - more than any place I've been - seems to be all about enjoying the company of someone else. There are very few solo travelers here.
I turned 38 years old last month. Throughout most of my life, I've avoided most serious relationships with the female species, so much so, that when I got engaged a few years back, most of my friends and family had a hard time believing the news, whether the information came through a third party or even myself. "Yeah right...whatever", "Zack engaged? No way!", and "Did hell freeze over?" were commonly heard comments. I thought it was quite amusing at the time - even comical - that I had spent most of my younger life embracing the single lifestyle so strongly that it almost felt like I was letting people down or ruining an image that I had built up for myself over the years. To this day, I'm 100% grateful that I had this "engagement experience"; I'm also 100% grateful that we broke it off.
Most modern-day weddings disgust me. Don't get me wrong here. I truly respect the institution of marriage and believe it should be held in honor by all. I believe it is an institution that has been designed and created by God Himself, as a sanctifying agent, to give us a visual aid of what our relationship with Him is like. A team of two, united for one purpose, will always be stronger and more effective than one. God uses others to refine us; in a marriage, I believe this process is amplified, we are constantly "in the fire" if you will. Marriage is indeed a beautiful thing. I just think we have been sold a watered down ideal of it in "Christian" America that looks no different than what the rest of the world believes about it; perhaps even corrupting it a bit further because of our wealth and pride. Think about it: We spend thousands of dollars buying pieces of absolutely worthless rock, usually mined with the backs and blood of children because we've bought into the lie that "diamonds are forever" and are therefore a symbol of marriage. Are we that easily sold a cultural lie? We put on lavish ceremonies to display ourselves and throw parties that usually include drunken debauchery where the entire point seems to be to glorify ourselves with pictures, dress, dances .... all in the name of doing something ...Christian? Weddings in America, I fear, have gone the way of Christmas - we have commercialized and degraded the experience to the point we no longer understand what it really means. We've given it a part of life status equivalent to going to college, getting a job, a home - the "supposed to do" stuff if you want to be labeled a successful member of society.
The beauty of this whole process was to flesh out what marriage would do for me, in the context of living a life wholeheartedly for the sake of God's kingdom. In my early young adult days, I would usually immediately reject any set-up attempts by well-meaning Christian friends by adamantly defending my single lifestyle. I would brag about the freedom of my current state; in Christian circles I would flaunt that I had nothing preventing me financially, emotionally, physically, or socially (ok, some would argue this) from doing whatever God wanted me to do in life... with my life. I was, in essence, off the grid. Society had no pull on me or had anything I needed. I continued this line of reasoning until Someone pointed out to me that if I truly was living my life in such a state, I ought to ponder my level of accountability before a most holy God. Shortly thereafter, a good friend's wife (who I'd just met for the first time and tried to set me up with her sister) adamantly made the point that if I truly felt it was God's calling for me to stay single and serve Him, I should note that others who were confirmed in such a calling (John the Baptist, Paul, Francis of Assisi, David Livingston, Luther's early years, Mother Theresa, Rich Mullins) all lived lives that were so incredibly radically oriented to the cause of Christ's kingdom that a married/family life simply wouldn't have made much sense in light of spousely/parental duties in terms of family nurturing and child rearing. Needless to say, I was immediately humbled, extremely terrified, and suddenly wanted to get married.
So the question begs... what is right/best for me? What would being married do for me? Are there advantages in being married? Staying single? Can I ponder this honestly? I will try to throw all selfish desires aside as I think about this. Singleness, for me, creates an overwhelming sense of self awareness and therefore pride. I'm more conscious of how I look, how I act, and in general, what others in society perceive of me. Walk into a party, or church, or any social setting alone and you will usually find yourself much more conscious of self or how you're perceived than if you walk in with someone else. I think, perhaps, that this is accentuated by the cultural pressure to be "in a relationship." When you're not, and you're 38, you feel the need to convince those around you that there's nothing wrong with you that is preventing this. People start wondering what's wrong with you or what's happened in your past or what kind of "issues" you have that are preventing you from being in a relationship. In the brief period in which I was engaged, especially when she was around me, I never really felt this. In essence, my identity was lost in or part of someone else's and this made me OK. You get this feeling of validation before your fellow man that says "See, look - I'm worthy of someone's affection". Society is obsessed with this - we use phrases like "married up" or "married down", thus assigning a recognized feeling of worth, within invisible layers determined by one's own society. Christ definitely married down, when He took on us (His church) as His bride.
I think God's desire is that our relationship with Him is like this - our identity should be so lost in Him in His presence, in living our lives before an Audience of One, that we would always feel we are quite complete before a watching world, never needing their approval to validate ourselves. Our existence should be so wrapped up in our identity in loving and serving Him, that we would never need anyone's approval to make ourselves feel we are all right, thus losing our sense of self-awareness that leads to pride. One of my favorite passages in the entire Bible is Mark 12:13-17, where Jesus's enemies try to get Him in trouble with the Romans (and Jews) by questioning Him about who taxes should be paid to. They (His ENEMIES) intro their question with "Teacher, we know you are true, for you do not value the opinions of men". Let's think about this in two ways: #1)Jesus (being God) must have thought the idea of seeking their approval seemed silly, since after all, He had created them. #2)Jesus (being human) knew that what He was speaking and what He was representing to a watching world was 100% truth, therefore He felt no fear in living his life before men or valuing their approval at all, because He knew He WAS TRUTH. So anytime we stand before men, or a spouse, or any audience and are continually obsessed with selling our self, we will always be overly self-conscience or fearful with what others think or how they perceive us, because we know our identity is that of a fallen creature with faults, that is not perfect, and does not represent perfect truth....unless we are able to totally lose our identity in that of Another, who has no faults or limitations or weaknesses and represents complete truth. The beauty of the Christian's testimony is we should be the first to confess our faults and weaknesses; this breaks down our own barriers and others' that we interact with, because by admitting faults and weaknesses, we are attempting to present our true self. If our relationship with God is not to this point, we probably have no business getting married; it would be quite unfair to someone else to base our identity in them, and then try to sell that identity, packaged with our own, as something completely perfect or to be respected by a watching world.
The problem with marriage for me is it seems, from observing society, that it creates unhealthy fears. Fear is an extremely manipulative emotion that drives us to live boring lives; our greatest fears are relational. We get married with big dreams, then usually fall prey to our culture of comfort and security, trying our best to not do anything that would "rock the boat" in our fragile human relationships. I think we tend to do human relationships so poorly that even in a "Christian" marriage there is an overwhelming desire to maintain peace at all costs, so we try to set ourselves up with a house, good jobs, and other things that make our lives easy and comfortable. Admittedly, in my brief period of being engaged, I thought about such things constantly (health insurance, place to live, good job) to the point where I know I would have joined the fearful ranks of the American Christians who strive to live their daily lives with as much safety and security as possible. This cultural ideal for a good marriage, in my opinion, has put the church in slumber. No longer does being a Christ-follower mean living a radical, if not epic life. It seems we have fallen prey to the idea that a good Christian home is one that fits respectfully and stably within the society surrounding it - which is tempting in that it is easy and gains the respect of peers, but to me would eventually become incredibly boring. For me to have a successful marriage I would, in essence, need someone who doesn't need me, whose life is already so complete that the only reason she'd want to marry me would be in obedience to something God wanted her to do with her life; to partner with someone to continue to live an epic adventure of following and serving Christ fearlessly, regardless of the cost to her comfort and security. Having someone whom I love deeply who would put our relationship (as a unit) fearlessly before God and constantly remind me of who I am in that context would help me be diligent in this calling, because I find myself often tempted to choose the "easy" route. I would need someone whose identity is so lost in Christ, whose life is so wrapped up in her relationship with Him, that she would feel no need or desire to be married outside of doing so in obedience to God, to refine her in a way that would draw her closer to Him. Any takers?
You see, my life reeks of contentment in a worldly sense. I've pretty much been in cruise control for the last several years - I park cars, I travel the world, I play lots of sports, I hang out with friends... basically, I get to do whatever I want whenever I want. Most anyone who knows me (human validation - woo-hoo!!) tells me they would love to have my life. Yes, my life is certainly easy, but it has also gotten incredibly BORING. That's the problem with cruise control - it eventually can become so comfortable that it puts everyone in the car asleep, including the driver. I'm pretty sure there's no where in scripture where God calls someone to step back and live as easy, cushy, and safe life as possible, yet in Christian circles in America, this is the ideal we are often taught to strive for and are raised and schooled to achieve.
The point of all this is to not tell anyone weather they are better off married or single; I will trust that if they have a relationship with God, He will reveal that to them. The point here is that if we are looking for someone other than God to come along and complete our life, we are placing unfair expectations on that person, trying to get them to fill a role that only God can adequately fill, that will void us of pride/self-awareness/ and desire for man's approval. We often worship at the alter of romantic completion only to crucify our significant other when we realize they're not Jesus.
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