Let me begin this blog with a disclaimer: I do not have any children nor do I play a regular or daily part in raising any children. The only times I've ever claimed any sort of fatherhood over anyone are in the (increasingly rare) occasions I'm able to assert any sort of dominance over friends during an athletic endeavor and feel led to ask them "Who's your daddy?" - obviously, and most obnoxiously, inferring that the proper answer is myself. Therefore, I understand that everything I am about to write can be criticized from the perspective that I'm not a realist, that I don't understand the challenges of child rearing, or that I don't have proper understanding of how a parent would feel towards their child. I can understand all that, but I still have long desired to write about what I view as one of the gravest weaknesses in the church - our PERSPECTIVE in how we, as Christians, should raise our kids. My observations are based generally on how I was raised, and how I see many Christian friends attempting to raise their children. If you are reading this, and do not claim the Christian faith, this blog is really not meant for you... but you can read it anyway.
Mom and Dad, if you ever read this, I assure you it is not meant to be a complaint/critique on your parenting abilities or how I was raised. I truly believe you both did the best you could given your own upbringings, and the influence of our nation's "Christian" culture in which you lived. I believe God truly gave me two parents with the qualities that you have, to raise me in a way that would help form me into the person I would grow in to, in order to use me for the purposes He had intended. As I get older, I am more appreciative of who you are as my parents, and in the way you actively poured into my life growing up (and even now), especially during the times I was hard-headed, rebellious, and refused to listen. From Dad I had modeled to me an incredible work ethic and self discipline, and learned almost every practical life skill imaginable - including organizational skills, leadership, managing money, and making a point to always do what was right. From Mom I learned was it was like to nurture someone, and had modeled to me the closest example of a perfect, selfless, Christ-like love I'll probably ever see this side of eternity. Whenever I'm asked about you two as parents, I love telling people you are the greatest "set" of parents a kid could ever dream of or wish for. I thank God that, for whatever reason, He chose you two to be my earthly parents.
Sadly, somewhere along the lines of history, the American church has changed Christianity into a safe "religion" that basically tells people what not to do. In our churches and homes we've focused on the "thou shalt nots" instead of the "goes" and "dos" of what it means to live a life that honors God and promotes His kingdom. We selfishly want our kids to live safe, comfortable lives - so we coach them up on how to stay out of trouble, be financially successful, acquire possessions, and win the respect of their peers and ourselves as parents - basically encouraging them to "tip-toe through life so they can arrive safely at death". We've taught them to create their own kingdoms, if you will, by revamping the entire Christian gospel into a religion of rules which teach them to be successful within the existing parameters of the society that they live in (while behaving ok in the process), instead of encouraging them to change society. If we've learned anything, it's that a religion of rules is never sustainable - our churches in America are filled with millions of kids who know their "wrongs" from their rights, but do them all anyway. We've bored an entire generation of kids into sex, drugs, drinking, and materialism because we haven't given them any more exciting options.
**** A real quick proof to anyone raised in a Christian home: In what context were you taught the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"? I'm pretty confident it was in the context of keeping you FROM doing something. (don't hit your sister, take your little brother's toys, etc) We've re-translated this verse to "Don't do something bad you wouldn't want someone else to do to you". I find it interesting that in the parable of the rich man and Lazurus (Luke 16: 19-31) we're never given any evidence of "bad" behavior of the rich man who ended up in hell - his only "crime" was in not doing good, or simply ignoring those who needed help around him in the society that he lived in.****
Kids don't want to taught to be "good". They want to be great. They want to be heroes, warriors, and princesses - people who change the world and have books written about them. They want to be part of a cause greater than themselves - identifying with movements of like-minded people that produce epic results, changing the society that they live in. They want to be heroic and daring, they want to feel value, they want to affect the universe they live in. By re-creating Christianity into a religion of don'ts, we've (the American church) squelched this inherent desire in our kids to be great, to change society, to live their lives for an "epic" cause - and turned them away from the most dramatic battle that exists - the cause of Christ. So instead we get war protestors, Occupy protestors, anti-tuition raising protestors, G-20 protesters, animal activists, peace activists, WOOFers, and "bank transfer" days, all started by kids who desperately want to do or be part of a cause that makes them feel that they have done something good with their lives ....all wanting to "save the world" perhaps, but doing it apart from the call of Christ. We (the church) have driven kids from the true gospel and created an entire generation of secular humanists who are running around desperately trying to make a difference in their world in an attempt to help others by fighting against social injustices, speaking out against racism, providing for the hungry, and promoting unity and world peace... all, perhaps, "holding to a form of godliness but denying the power thereof."
"Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Often lost in this verse is the obvious analogy that children are arrows (read: weapons) to be used for the kingdom of Christ. As parents, they're given to you to be sharpened and shot out, not polished and put back in the quiver to make them (or yourself) look good. It is our job as parents to release them as weapons of light all over the world in a battle that is more grand, more epic, than any kid can even imagine. The parents of the generation of "kids" currently running our churches, businesses, and governments are reaping what they've sown. They've taught their kids to live safe and comfortable lives, looking out for themselves and their families, while complacently letting society go to hell around them while they've stayed out of trouble. Our goal as parents should not be to keep our kids out of trouble, but to teach them HOW to embrace it and work and walk through it. There's an old adage that says "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time."
Step aside and evaluate your own parenting: Are your kids reaching out...do they live for others? Do they befriend the lonely? Do they share what they have? Do they recognize injustice and untruths and physical needs at their schools or jobs and attempt to do something about it? Are they willing to risk the disapproval of other kids (and yours) to do what they believe is right? If we are relating to them in a way that causes them to seek their peer's approval or our own (as parents), then we are not relating to them as we should. DO speak validation into their lives, but make sure they know that you're not the end game. Your approval of them will mean very little in the context of eternity. Your job is to point them to their real Father, and to teach and model to them a life that shows them the joy, wonder, and worth of the call of Christ.
God had an earthly Son too. By our general Christian standards today, God (the Father) would have been the worst parent in the world. His son didn't go to college. He never held a high-profile job or made lots of money. He frequently attended parties and drank. He spent his adulthood as a poor, homeless wanderer. He consorted with the worst of society, even becoming close with many women of questionable repute. He was constantly in trouble with the authorities. He never tried to "fit in", but was always sought after by throngs of both friends and foes. He died the most horrible, painful, cruel death imaginable in His day. But his life was epic, not boring. He confronted those in authority, publically lambasted all society's injustices, attacked the established religion of His day, was frequently on the lam from the law, faced multiple death threats, and was constantly in the public eye. By the time He died, he had pretty much taken head-on every single establishment and ideal of His day. He died at 33, but He changed the world, by living (and dying) more "epically" than anyone who had ever walked the planet. He knew who His Daddy was.
No comments:
Post a Comment